My Last Convention this year...

After a busy convention season, I can finally breathe a bit. We just finished my last convention of the year, CHEO in Columbus Ohio. It was a great convention even though our booth was in a very warm spot of the hall. [I kid you not, 20 feet away it was at least 10 degrees cooler, but the circulation in the hall was not efficient at all.]

This was my team on Friday. On Thursday night and Saturday my husband Bob was my fourth member instead of Alicia. We figured we had 18 kids between us.
Left to right: Alicia, Cindy, Shelli and Jill

It all starts with packing up the truck. The display items are heavy and bulky, so it is always a challenge to get everything in the truck--plus all the luggage, computers, pillows and so on for the four of us who go up together. This was taken before we put in the back packs, suitcases and so on.

Then, of course there is in the unloading and the setting up. You would think the convention hall would turn on the air conditioning while the vendors are sweating like crazy carrying and toting and setting up materials, but they don't. They don't turn the air down to a comfortable setting till 4:45 pm-just before the first paying customers come through the door. I actually had to totally chang my clothes at 4:50 because I had sweated up all my clothes. UGH!

We had a steady stream of customers till 9:00 Thursday night. By that time we had had a very full day, so we stopped at Wendy's for supper, headed to the motel and crashed till the morning. I must admit, though, that after a shower, I was already looking forward to Friday.

The next morning we were at the convention hall at 9:00, ready to greet the attendees. We talked to parents who had one child and some that had lots and lots of children. People loved looking at our Core and Science samplers so they could get a real picture of what Sonlight is like. The picture of the samplers was taken Thursday before I plugged in the microscope.

Many people signed up for the $40 Gift Certificate and Lael of Pataskala, OH won. Lael is a long time SL user and she was really happy to win. Congratulations Lael.

This is the back of our welcome station, for those who wonder what we keep back there. We keep supplies, water bottles, catalogs, but most importantly we keep our chocolate and our maple pecans. We actually ate all the chocolate by the second day so we stopped at Trader Joe's on the way in on Saturday and picked up some dark chocolate covered almonds. If you have never eaten any of these, you are really missing a wonderful way to experience chocolate.

Here is a picture of my husband Bob near the end of the convention on Saturday. Things were very slow and since we hadn't had any customers for while Bob took a break. I call this, "Make Way for Bob." This is proof that Sonlight appeals to all ages. [He is reading the P3/4 Robert McCloskey book].

All in all it has been a good season. We got to talk to and encourage many nice people. It is always refreshing to see so many committed parents raising up the next generation.

Take care,
Jill

Hands on activities...

Many people ask me about what to do if their child is a hands on learner so I thought I would tackle that topic today.

I guess, the question could mean a couple of different things. For example, it could be that you child needs to be moving or doing something with their hands so they can learn. I know when I read aloud, Kari always knit or did some sort of handwork--it seemed to keep her more focused and also she felt so productive. Scotty would play with blocks or little plastic toy figures or puzzles when I would read. The rule was he had to be quiet and had to be able to tell me about what I was reading when I was done.

He also needed to be moving while he was doing regular paperwork. While doing math, for example, he would tap his pencil till it about drove us crazy--and he did not realize he was doing it. But, when I let him use a clip board and do math someplace other than the table [he liked doing it under the table, laying on our dog], he worked faster and better.

Many kids do well if they:

• can sit in a rocking chair to read or do lessons
  
• have a stress ball in their hand
• can sit on an exercise ball to read or do lessons
  
• have gum to chew
• have frequent breaks where they can run around
• can jump on a mini-trampoline or shoot a few hoops between lessons
  
• I recently heard from an occupational therapist that putting a balance disc on their chair can make a huge difference
  

For these type of kids, they need to be moving in order to do their best learning.

I always figured I didn't care as long as they were trained to do socially acceptable things like sitting in a chair at Sunday School and so on.

Now, on to the second type of hands on learner. This is the child that really doesn't "get" history or math till they feel it, taste it, do it. They may need to use counting bears, beans and coins for math before they understand the concepts. Most math programs for young children include some type of manipulative based learning, and if they don't, you can usually add some as you go along.
Science is best done by reading and doing and that is why I love Sonlight science. I love the real books and the weekly experiments. Before we did Sonlight Science many times I would read the list of what we needed to do the experiment and then sigh and say, "Well, if we had a copper screw..." I mean, science should not be done that way. How boring!

That is why I LOVE the science supply kits that you can get from Sonlight. That way you can actually do the experiments without having to run all over town to find some little essential component.
But, for things like learning about Native Americans, I know many folks try to do the whole "mom takes two weeks assembling all the items needed to make a tepee" thing. The parents spend lots of time and money and then the kid is involved for maybe a hour. I never quite understood that type of learning/teaching and this is why.

I believe, that if you give kids great books and read to them and have them read good books themselves, they will be inspired to do hands-on activities themselves. Once their imagination is stirred, there is usually no stopping them. I remember when I read about Samuel Morse to my kids-I think they were about 14, 12, 10, 6 and 3 at the time. They worked and worked and finally called me upstairs to see what they had done. They actually constructed a working telegraph system connecting their upstairs bedrooms together. They were tapping SOS like mad and smiling like crazy.

I also recall sugar cube Egyptian pyramids and a DNA model made out of pipe cleaners. And I cannot count the number of pretend sword fights, assorted forts and various spying syndicates we hosted through the years. I am totally convinced that kids who love to learn through hands-on methods can do that without mom having to try to do all the work herself. They can learn and understand by reading and listening to great books, and you can provide lots of arts and crafts materials and a sense of humor; and then let them see what they can do. You will be amazed!

I hope this sparks some ideas so that your hands-on kids can get a great education without wearing you out.
Take care,
Jill

Photos, from the top:

• Kari "mummifying" Scotty after we studied about Egypt
• Kari sewing a dolly blanket--inspired by Little House books and how the girls sewed
  
• Scotty wearing off some energy shooting a few hoops between lessons
• Kari with Monarch after it hatched from our mason jar, science at its best
• Cris, juggling--great for kids with extra energy and to promote coordination--the Klutz books of Juggling is a great place to start.
  

Fire Escape and Playing Poker...

Dr. Susan Canizares who actually writes for Houghton Mifflin Harcourt [public school textbook publisher] and an expert in elementary education and child development, would probably be shocked to know that she supports homeschooling! [See Summer is no excuse to take a break from learning.]

She had lots of ideas and says summer learning "isn't about erecting a chalkboard and having mini-lessons in your living room." Here are some of her tips for summer learning that really work:

• Teach math through cooking
  
• Take you kids along on errands so they can have "real world" learning
• Let kids help plan trips and vacations--have them calculate # of shirts they will need for the trip, how long will it take to get to your destination
  
• Use penmanship and critical thinking, work with maps
• Read to your child, she says, "You can never read to your kids too much...it expands vocabulary and comprehension..."
• Write--have your kids keep a journal
• Use varied colorful language around your child

This sure sounds a LOT like homeschooling, doesn't it? When homeschoolers take our kids to do chores with us, it is called "sheltering them from the real world" --when they do it as part of school it is called "real word" learning.

Makes you wonder where and what this real world is. It is in school? Or at home and out in the marketplace?

When we use our home to teach we are called isolationists and are accused of having socially inept kids. When schools use "homey situations" to teach concepts it is called "bringing real life experiences into their classrooms."

I think homeschoolers and public schoolers agree on more than they think, perhaps it is more a question of semantics and location?

In all fairness, I think the good doctor has a lot of wonderful ideas and it is great that she is encouraging kids and parents to spend quality time doing enriching activities. I just wonder why the same experts that give this type of advice, who recognize that learning can take place in many ways and that parents are great teachers, balk at homeschooling?

Whether you homeschool or traditional school, the advice from a real bona fide expert says we should read to our kids, have them bake cookies and pack their own suitcases, who am I to argue? Enjoy the summer with your kids--honestly the years fly by [but the days can be really long].

Take care,
Jill

Photos--Real World Learning

• Top-Practicing Fire Safety and escape

• Middle-Kids on a trip--they always packed their own duffle--since they were about three years old. I would tell them how many days we would be gone and they had to pack that many "sets" of clothes. A set is one bottom, one top, one set of underwear all rolled up together. Then they had to add something to sleep in, something to swim in and their toiletries bag.

• Bottom-Learning math skills playing poker with Grandpa. Notice the hats--they all had to wear hats and have a cowboy name--ahh learning cowboy history with Grandpa!

All Chocolate Chip Cookies are not the same! Recipe...

I have had a few people ask me for the awesome chocolate chip cookie recipe, I mentioned in my post about the difference between text book learning and learning through real books, so here it is:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredient list:

3 cups roasted pecans* --[about 10 oz. roasted and tossed with 2 T and 1/4 tsp salt butter see directions below]

1 C butter, two sticks

3/4 tsp salt

2 1/4 C all purpose flour, measured by dip-level-pour method

1 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 C sugar

1 t molasses

1T pure vanilla extract

2 large eggs

2 C semi sweet chocolate chips or broked bittersweet chocolate

*Roast pecans by putting on a jellyroll pan. Put in a 350 degree oven till browned, abotu 10 minutes. Remove and toss with the butter and the salt. Cool.

When cool, put 1/2 of them [1.5 Cups, about 5 oz] in a food processor and process till they are like pecan meal but not pecan butter. There may be some pieces that are larger than meal, and that is fine. Coarsley chop the remaining nuts and set aside.

Combine with a wire wisk and then set aside:

pecan meal

3/4 tsp salt
2 1/4 C all purpose flour, measured by dip-level-pour method
1 tsp baking soda

In a mixing bowl, combine till light and fluffy:

1 C butter

1.5 C sugar

Beat in:

1 t molasses
1T pure vanilla extract

Then, on lowest speed, beat in:

2 eggs

Then stir in lightly, just till flour is combined:

Pecan-flour mixture that you set aside.

Stir in 2 C chocolate chips and the chopped pecans. Do not beat, just stir in till mixed.

Make balls of dough about 2 T in size. Place on greased baking sheets, or baking sheets covered with parchement paper or non-stick aluminum foil. Bake at 375 degrees for about 9-11 minutes, just till edges show brown. Slip cookies off sheet onto rack and let cool. I just slip the whole piece of parchment paper on to the cooling rack.

NOTE: I freeze any dough balls I don't need immediately by shaping the dough and placing the balls close together on a baking sheet. I put them in the freezer for about 30 minutes, then take them off and put in a zip loc bag. . That way, when I want fresh cookies, I just bake up a few of them. It takes a few extra minute of baking time when they are frozen.

The Best Way,,,

I was thinking this morning about a phrase that I say a lot when people ask me about homeschooling.

"It's a great way to raise a family."

Sure there are benefits like more flexibility during the day and during the year. Kids can work at their own pace and they have time to follow other interests. They can get a great education in 1/2 the time and usually don't develop the peer-dependence that many traditionally educated students do--but what I didn't know when we started homeschooling was the unvarnished fact that it is a great way to raise a family.

I am looking at this from hindsight now which is not always 20/20, but I think it does give a more well rounded perspective than we had when we were actually homeschooling.

When homeschooling five kids--4 boys and 1 girl--there is a lot of living that takes place every day. Every day we were together--all day long. The proximity alone can cause stress or it can cause closeness. Everyone needs to learn to pitch in together, everyone needs to be tolerant of everyone else and the older ones need to help the younger. We had to share our rather small house with each other all. day. long. And that is not easy. It is not easy to share parents, rooms, space and every waking minute with the same people, every day.

But...

What a great way to raise a family. What a great way to learn how to share, to learn compassion, to learn to get along. It is also the way we got to really know each other. We know each others weaknesses and strengths, we know how to push each others buttons, but also how to make each other smile.

Chad and Kari shared a section of the upstairs [a finished attic area, roughly divided into rooms without doors, without closets. The closets were in the hallway for everyone to share]. I remember when she was about eight she was trying to make a counted cross stitch bookmark for Bob for Father's Day. She was trying to finish it up the night before, but threads were tangling and she was getting very tired and on the verge of tears.

Chad was reading in his bed and he said, "It's OK Kari, I can finish it up so it will be ready for Dad tomorrow." And he did.

How many twelve year old boys would do that for their sister? He knew how important it was to her. I am not sure many brothers would even understand that because they wouldn't be so in tune with their younger sister. And, what's more, Chad can still recite all the names of the original American Girls when asked! I don't think many twenty-something men can say that! [Probably not many would admit it if they could.]

I think the bonds that were forged over cross stitch, math problems, shared read-alouds, older siblings helping younger and late nights talking and playing in their attic paradise are unbreakable. The kids are mostly grown now--with Scotty [the youngest] turning 20 next month. They get together all the time for game night, movie night, ball games, going to concerts, taking care of each others pets and on and on. Three of the guys work at the same place and all five kids get together every Friday for lunch.

We were a close family before we started to homeschool, and I know a lot of great families who don't homeschool--but I believe with all my heart that for us, homeschooling was the best way.

Take care,
Jill

Photos: Top 1990, middle Chad and Kari, bottom Kari, Scotty and Chad having a story before bedtime.

All Chocolate Chip Cookies are not the same!

I made some awesome chocolate chip cookies last week. The recipe called for roasting pecans for 10-15 minutes, then putting a bit of butter and salt on them, then grinding them up in a food processor and using this mix to replace some of the flour.

I used real butter, real vanilla, farm fresh eggs, real dark chocolate chunks and mixed the batter oh so gingerly so the cookies would be a melt-in-your-mouth delicacy. I scooped out rounded masses of the buttery mix, baked them on parchment paper for exactly 12 minutes and slid them on to waiting cookie racks. Can you see the delicately browned cookies? Can you smell the buttery, nutty chocolatey morsels? They are crisp on the outside and gooey and rich in the inside. Oh, my...heaven in my mouth. [recipe here]
Now, contrast that with a bag of Chips-Ahoy. I mean, they are both cookies, they both have chocolate chips, they both are round--but what exactly is partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil and artificial flavoring? They are not gooey, they are do not melt in your mouth, but in a pinch they will do and when you have a hankering for a cookie, they are not too bad.

So, when I was thinking about cookies, it made me think of curriculum. When you teach your kids by reading them great literature and exposing them to ideas and thoughts contained in literature, it is like the homemade chocolate chip cookie. It is pleasing and satisfying. Kids want more--they want to dig deeper, they enjoy the experience and learn an incredible amount as they go along. Learning through literature appeals to old and young, rich and poor, eager learners and slower learners. We can learn so much through stories--we can be transported across time and space and can experience more than we could possibly experience in our own lifetime. It is rewarding and satisfying.


But, when you learn through text books, it is kind of like a store-bought cookie. It is kind of the same--but it is not really the same at all. Textbooks take a bunch of great history or science and pre-digest it in a sort of "readers-digest" format so you get the gist, but none of the passion. Incredible events such as the explosion of the space shuttle are brieffly covered, a date given, and then the article ends with something like "but even though this launch was not successful, the space program learned from their mistakes so future launches were much safer."

UGH! Where is the passion? Where is the mourning? What is the point of the event? It leaves one wondering why they bothered to even read this book and how many pages more are assigned. Kind of like wondering why you are wasting your calories on a Chips Ahoy, when you could eat a Mrs. Fields cookie. There is just no flavor, no satisfaction-- no character at all to the cookie or the text.

Whether you are homeschooling or your kids are in a traditional school--please read to them. Read them books with passion and excitement. Introduce your kids to your heroes or read classic literature to them. If you don't know where to start, ask me, ask your librarian, ask an English teacher or get a Sonlight catalog and use it for a reading list. Use this summer to ignite your child's interest and imagination and to strengthen family bonds and have true quality and quantity time with them. Read to them and maybe whip up a batch of cookies too! It couldn't hurt!

Take care,
Jill

Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies.

It's all about me...

I was really intrigued when I saw psychologist Jean Twenge interviewed on one of the morning programs this past week. I felt like she had been in my kitchen when I was talking to one of my friends. I mean, what she said has been what I have been saying for years, but she has the research and the Dr. before her name to back it up. She said that Narcissism is on the upswing. I don't think I have ever used the word narcissism--it is not really in my speaking vocabulary--but the idea rings true to my way of thinking.

In the book she co-authored with W. Keith Campbell, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement, they show that young people [and not so young people] today have a very positive and self inflated sense of self. She contends this is illustrated by the preoccupation with MySpace, Facebook and YouTube. In other words,

"It's all about me."

Narcissism is defined as [from various sources]:

1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See synonyms at conceit.
2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
3. Concerned ONLY with oneself
4. A personality disorder in which a person is so self-absorbed that the needs and feelings of others do not matter.

This isn't like a positive self image, which is healthy, it is excessive self-preoccupation and I think what really characterizes it is that the person is not really that interested in other people or what they think or do--they are preoccupied with themselves.

So, what's a parent to do? Some of the things Twenge mentioned are things I have said again and again. When a child loses a game, instead of saying "You always be a winner to me," we should say, "Let's work on that swing and maybe we will get them next time."

Instead of every kid on the losing ball team or swim team, etc. getting a trophy at the end of the season, just have a pep talk about improving, doing our best, etc. Talk about the fun you had, the improvements the team has made, give everyone a pat on the back and go home.

The "fake" trophy makes a child think he [or the team] is great when really he [or the team] needs to do better. The trophys and fake "always a winner" talk really set a kid up for failure.

I mean, they are not always going to be winners. They may as well learn it early--you are not going to win all the time, you are not going to be the best all the time, you are not the prettiest, smartest...and so forth. We can compliment kids on a job well done, but constant affirmation does not do anyone any good and it cheapens real affirmation.

I think Dr. Seuss says it best in The Places You'll Go.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because sometimes, you won't
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly it's, true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you...

And I think this is the message we need our kids to hear. That bang-ups and hang-ups happen.

That the destination is not as important as the journey. We need to stop letting our kids be the little masters of the house, stop letting them have so much control and teach them to be in service to their families and their communities. Chores are a good place to start--as well as showing kindness to others, especially younger family members.

If we can get our kids to think of others and to see that they are an important part of their family and community--instead of seeing themselves as someone who everyone's lives revolve around, the person that the parents put at the center of their universe, we will go a long way to having non-narcissistic kids-kids who have a positive self image, but are not selfish and uncaring of others.

Take care,
Jill

Something [worthwhile] to think about...

I love books! And books are the key to giving your child something worthwhile to think about.

[Note: This is part four of a four part entry about Being Real Moms and Shepherding your flock.
To read the blog about Something to Love, please go here, for something [worthwhile] to do go here and for the beginning of this topic you can go to Real Moms, Shepherding your Flock .]

[Chad reading to Kari and Scotty]
Through great literature you child can have unending worthwhile things to think about. The secret is to read to your child. Read, read, read! Read when they are just born and read to them when they are teens.

A child's mind feeds on ideas--they need to be exposed to great books and then have unstructured time to think and imagine and to sort things out. Real, LIVING books enliven a child's mind. I am talking about good fiction, biographies and interesting factual books. NOT textbooks! Textbooks are pre-digested works, summarizing what the author(s) thinks is important. UGH! A textbook will tell you what the author thinks, such as "the three causes of the depression"--REAL books will let the child discern the causes, the results and they way people were affected.

Real or Living books make a child more curious, stir his imagination and encourage independent thoughts and ideas.

By reading books to your child you can bring him a world that otherwise would be out of his reach. You can read books to your child that he will enjoy and learn from that may be above his reading level. Also, as you read you can discuss your world view and pass on your core beliefs by discussing the characters, themes and plots with your child!

Kari and I loved [and still love] the Little House on the Prairie Books. We made doughnuts, churned butter, made biscuits, ground wheat and discussed things like family responsibility, hard work and honor. And actually, if the truth be told, Kari is named after Carrie Ingalls in the Little House books. I am sure many of you have a favorite book that somehow changed your life--they are that powerful.

I remember reading Carry on Mr. Bowditch aloud to various kids through the years. I love that book. It is a biography about Nathaniel Bowditch , beginning when he was a child. He was a brilliant man. As I read this to my kids, the one thing that stuck out in my son Chad's mind was how Nathaniel taught himself languages. He would get a grammar and a New Testament in the language he wanted to learn and would start translating the book of John "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God..."

This idea so impressed Chad that he began to learn Spanish just this way. About 5 years after I read this book to him he came home with a Spanish New Testament and said if Nathaniel Bowditch could do it, so could he. What an awesome way to give our children heroes and something worthwhile to think about.

Another book that made a huge impression on a couple of my children was The Endless Steppe
by Esther Hautzig. This book is an autobiography of Esther as a youth when she was exiled from Poland to Siberia during World War 2. This book taught us about unfairness, prejudice and about making the best of a terrible situation. We also learned a lot about the war, geography and so much more.

I think, through good literature you can teach your children to love what is good and noble and also to discern what is not good and not noble. You can explore places, people and situation you would never be able to do in several lifetimes--all through books.

Books give your child something worthwhile to think about.

In summary, we can lead our flock by being an example. We need to treat our spouses, our in-laws and our neighbors with respect and dignity.We are to be an example to our flock but in order to do this we must spend time [quality and quantity] with our flock-- being an example, because we are willing and because Christ calls us to a life of service and humility.
[I had been reading, just set down the book. I don't have any pictures of me actually reading to the kids--I guess we were to engrossed in the stories to take pictures!]

Something [worthwhile] to do...

Continuing with the theme of raising kids and encouraging them and making the most of your time with them, today I will talk about Something [worthwhile] to Do. To read the blog about Something to Love, please go here and for the beginning of this topic you can go here; Real Moms, Shepherding your Flock .

You can best serve your children by teaching them service. They can be taught to do chores that help the family. I truly believe doing chores helps build self esteem.

Children should be taught Magnanimity- Generosity or nobility of mind or greatness of spirit. Brought about by high thinking and lowly living. The child learns to think great thoughts, but is also generous to overlook insult or injury. He is not too good to do lowly chores.

Practically, this can be taught by:

• Learning to share when it is hard
• Teaching about Jesus--serving and humility

In addition to teaching magnanimity, children are born with a natural curiosity. They need to be fed with ideas so they have worthwhile things to think about. Some ideas along this line:

• acting out historical events
• pretending to be historical characters
• draw and collect things having to do with nature: rocks, leaves, bugs, etc.
• learn to identify birds, flowers, weeds and so forth [a bird feeder and a field guide can be a lot of help]--I like the Peterson series.
• listen to great music and learn to identify composers and/or instruments
• learn to identify great art works
• do some gardening
• making doll clothes
• woodworking
• make and perform a play or puppet show
• helping younger sibling to get dressed, put away toys
• have picnics
• teach child to make a simple lunch
• sweep floors
• raise children to appreciate God's creation
• have child plan and carry out a tea party
• have child making something for the family such as a wooden door stop, or pot holder
• keep the porch swept and clean
• Playing marbles or hop scotch--games that require thinking and coordination and cooperation
• and so on and so on...

I think you get the idea. Get away from the TV and the video games--give the child real things to do-real things to imitate. Have them learn great things like art and music and nature study-yet be willing to do humble things like helping a younger

[Kari weaving on a popcycle loom]sibling, cleaning the toilet, etc. Keep the idea of magnanimity in mind and you can't go wrong. Something important to do-isn't that what we all want? To do something important?

Some books I recommend for young children for art and music appreciation...
Child Nature Book I Like
Animals in Art
Enjoying Art with Children
Bernstein Favorites [music appreciation]
Childs Book of Art

Something to Love...

I talked last time about Real Moms and how to shepherd the flock God has entrusted to you.

• So, we need to shepherd and lead our children
• Not lording it over them
• Be eager to serve and an example to our flock

Where do we start in our desire to raise our children to be thoughtful men and women of God? I mentioned that I love the book A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen
[our new puppy Lucky-1992] Andreola. This is a very readable book that boils down much of the educational philosophy of Charlotte Mason. And I think a lot of her philosophy can help us in shepherding our children.

I love Charlotte Mason's ideas. You can find out more of her philosophy by going to Simply Charlotte. com According to the website, "Charlotte Mason was a British educator who lived in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Her method, the Charlotte Mason method, is centered around the idea that education is three-pronged: Education is an Atmosphere, a Discipline, a Life."
She believed that each day children needed:

• Something to love
• Something to do [worthwhile]
• Something to think about

Our children are not our pets. They are individuals created in the image of God and on loan to us. They are not our possessions. As such, they need to have their own responsibilities, jobs and duties to do while they are children in order to prepare them to be adults.

The thing to love could be family members. Part of the point of making sure a child has a thing to love is that the child will learn to take responsibility for another living being. This will help them to not be selfish.

The thing to love and care for could be a pet. It could be a neighbor that they visit and take some responsibility for--perhaps bringing in the neighbor's mail or taking over treats or just spending time with them. Providing acts of service for those who they love should be a goal your strive for as soon as a child is old enough, perhaps by 3 or 4.

By doing for others a child learns to do things for himself, to be aware of the needs of others, to not be self centered--- but other centered.
[Dusty reading to Kari and Scott-and act of service]

Who among us has not seen a child who wants to protect his baby sister, or who teaches his dog to sit and shake? These things are vital to forming their personalities and priorities in a positive way.

Next time we will look at Something Worthwhile to Do, and in the mean time, I would encourage you to think about how you can encourage your child to do acts of service and to have something to love every day.