Never Tease a Weasel-Part 2...

Yesterday I talked about the problems that I had trying to teach my children important character traits by reading books written specifically for that purpose. They just did not translate across to make an impact on my children. They might know to Never Tease a Weasel, but brothers were fair game!

I believe character traits are caught not taught! But, I think we can do something to make catching them a bit easier. It is somewhat of a secret, but I will share it with you....read real books! Not books designed to teach character--kids are too smart for that, but when you share real, living books with your children you will have many opportunities to talk about the characters in the books--what they did right, what they did wrong, what they should have done.


I remember when I read Little Britches to Kari and Scotty. That book is full to the brim of character lessons-most of them learned by the author, Ralph Moody when he was growing up in Littleton, Colorado around 1910. This autobiography is a wonderful account of growing up on a ranch--about responsibility and honesty and about the relationship between a father and son.

Ralph is an amazing storyteller who weaves his story like a fine tapestry. It is amazing how he remembers so well what it was like to be a child and the lessons Ralph learns in the book are as applicable today as they were 100 years ago. Whether you homeschool or not, this is a delightful book to read aloud to your children. It will make a lasting impression on the whole family.

And who can forget about the elephant who is "Faithful, 100%"? Horton Hatches the Egg is another story where you can talk about doing what is right, about responsibility and friendship, about love, adoption and what makes a good parent. This is a great read-aloud book that brings up many character issues for you to discuss with your young children.

There are so many wonderful stories with great story lines and characters worthy of emulation or of scorn. One of our favorite biographies was about Eric Liddell--the guy the story "Chariots of Fire" was based on. He was dedicated to running and to God, yet he had to make a choice between them. His story is inspiring and humbling--a great book to read-aloud to older elementary and middle school children.

And then there is great historical fiction like "Daughter of the Mountains," that teaches faithfulness and sticking with a job. There are bad guys you can talk about as well as those who are good and kind. This book, like many others, gives you, the parent, an opportunity to talk about those core beliefs that you want to pass on to your children.

Another book for younger children is "The Bee Tree." It not only teaches natural science, but also the value of reading and the wisdom of older people.

I could go on and on--and if you want more recommendations, let me know, but basically, pick out a good book and begin reading it to your children. Talk about the situations, the characters, their decisions and what they could have or should have done differently. What would you do if you were in their shoes?

So read a book to children,
Now there's some good advice...
You can talk about the characters
And whether or not they are nice!

Take care,
Jill

Never Tease a Weasel...

Over the years, I have had many people ask me about how to teach positive character to their children. Years ago, I thought you could teach it through books specifically designed for this purpose. We checked out books with titles like "Let's Talk about Whining" and "Let's talk about Lying" from the church library. We still own a book called "Never Tease a Weasel." It has been well over a decade since I have looked at this book but I can still recite:

                       Never tease a weasel,
                       Now there's some good advice.
                      A weasel will not like it,
                     And teasing isn't nice.

But, you know what? Those books did not help one bit to teach my kids not to whine, lie or tease. It was like the books were one thing, life another.

My husband went to a seminar once and brought home some beautiful books with animal lessons. Each animal was supposed to teach a Biblical truth, a character trait for the children to emulate. They were beautiful books with matching coloring books. The kids enjoyed the stories and learning about the animals. One year I had Chad [then late middle school age] teach a lesson every week to Kari and Scotty for their science. The books were that good!

There were ducks and wolves and all sorts of interesting facts woven into the fiber of the underlying theme of teaching character. They loved those books! But, just because a baby duck has to obey his mother at the first call or he will be left in the nest of the hollow tree to die, it didn't make my kids want to obey when I first called. And, if you follow the logic of the book, the mother duck had some serious character issues of her own if she would leave a baby behind just because he didn't obey her the first time she called. I mean, he was her baby, after all.

Then I understood! Character is caught not taught!

The way to teach children how to be honest, is to be honest. [harder than reading a book called "Let's talk about honesty."]

The way to teach children compassion is to be compassionate.

Scary huh? You know it's true. Kids watch us like hawks and they don't miss a trick. They see if we give back the extra quarter the clerk gave us in our change. They see if we help a neighbor or look the other way so we can avoid them. They know if we pick up the phone when we know it is our mother-in-law on the other end. They hear us gossip. Don't get discouraged! Granted, we are not perfect and we make mistakes; but I think realizing that we are teaching character when we think our kids are not looking, will make us better parents-- better people- and better ambassadors for Christ! And, we don't have to be perfect to do a good job.

Character is caught, not taught.

Next time I will talk about another way to share your core beliefs related to character with your children. [Never Tease a Weasel part 2]

Take care,
Jill

[Photos: The kids learning the value of hard work and being good workers; Chad reading to siblings, showing kindness and compassion]