Baby Students...

I am feeling sad this morning after reading a post on the Sonlighter Club Forums from a mom with a 19 month old. She says that she started "Your Baby Can Read" with him when he was 3 months old and he had mastered the program by his first birthday. Now he has been working on letter names, shapes, colors and working on identifying the United States. She wants to know if he is ready for a kindergarten program.

What? I want to shake her and wonder what she is thinking? What is the purpose of this? Do we want him to be able to read War and Peace when he is six? Does she want him to go off to work with his little brief case when he is 12? Does she just like to have her son perform for Grandma and the neighbors?

When did we get to be a people who put so much emphasis on academics and so little on play and relationships and using imaginations? I heard a NPR story a couple of weeks ago about a country [Sweden?] which mandates full day school for children as young as 2! They interviewed some parents and they thought it was great that their children are getting professional teaching at that young age.

One mom cooed over her child who could spout off nursery rhymes by memory--as if that is a reason to send your 2 year old away for 35+ hours a week! The "professionals" and I use that term lightly, have convinced parents that they cannot possibly parent a child the right way. They need to pack Johnny off while still in diapers so he can be properly socialized and educated. You wonder how civilization managed to produce functioning citizens all these thousands of years when we didn't have preschool and 10 month olds who can read!

I know this lady is not alone. I have spoken to others like her--in fact I once spoke to a woman who was pregnant with her first child and was looking for curricula for that child because she knew this child was going to be very gifted. Not much pressure there. :) Honestly, I thought when most people are pregnant they were praying for a healthy baby and wondering what type of car seat to buy. It never occurred to me that they were planning academics and they were convinced their child would be gifted. That is a LOT of pressure.

I grieve for the children who lose their childhood to academics. I grieve for the pressure, the scheduled lives, the push, push, push to do better, learn more and the message that academics is IT. Where is the joy, the play, the snuggling on the couch, the imagining?

I love what the advice one mom gave to the mom of the 19 month old, "Also, keep in mind that academics aren't the end all of education. If you are not doing so already, you need to take things like fine motor skills (drawing, picking up tiny objects, using scissors) and following multi-step directions into consideration. Large motor skills (kicking, throwing, climbing stairs) are equally important, as are social skills such as speaking to adults, using polite words, and so on."


I wanted to stand up a cheer! YES! Academics aren't the end all of education or of child rearing! Imagine that. Before children can read they are very visual and notice everything. Did you ever notice how a child will say things like, "Oh, his car has the same hub caps as our car," and he is right? And you think, "Who looks at hubcaps?" Kids notice things. They can't read, so they pay way more attention to details and visual clues than we do. That is why when my nephew was 4 he could beat me in a concentration-type matching game 2 games out of every 3. He was more visual--I was more written word oriented. It is why I need words to figure out what burner to turn on my stove, not pictures. [And that is a whole 'nuther subject!]

I am not a language research scientist, but there has to be consequences with children learning to read before they have time to fully develop their visual observation skills. Surely God designed them to be so observant and to have such great visual skills to figure out their world for a reason. It has got to be a necessary foundation for higher level learning and if you short-circuit that in order to have bragging rights to the smartest child in town--what long range damage is being done?

While teaching children is admirable, I really think we should reconsider what to teach. How about sharing and getting along? How about compassion and loving your neighbor as yourself? How about doing acts of service within the family? How about developing the imagination by sandbox and outdoor play?

When did we get to the place that we think that children are like little pets that we should teach to do tricks so that we can amaze our friends? Maybe that is not what is going on here, but it grieves me to think that somewhere along the line we have failed new parents by letting them think that reading and academics is more important than relationships and imagination.

Take care,
Jill

You might want to read Play is Work or look at the side of my blog where the directory is, and click on play or playing, to read more along this line.

Photos are of my son Cris and granddaughter Elinor, and my daughter in law Jen with Elinor.

Taught to Play?

You are not going to believe this--or perhaps maybe, like me, you are thinking you knew it would come to this.The Conservatory Lab Charter School in Brighton, Mass., is paying $23,500 to the national non-profit Playworks to teach children how to play.

What?

Yes, that's right. They are going to teach children how to play old-school activities like jump-rope, four square, capture the flag, kickball, hula-hoop and so on.

Playworks says things I can't believe need to be said, but none-the-less I have been saying them for years. [Why didn't I think of marketing play?]

• Recess is the single biggest opportunity to raise the level of physical activity for all children
• Teachers cite improved behavior in the classroom when students have recess.
• Time and time again, research has shown that healthy play and recess help kids succeed in the classroom
  
• Kindergarteners are under intense pressure to meet testing standards while also being denied play time, leading to a rise in aggression and behavioral problems.
• Play creates essential opportunities for children to explore their imaginations, to connect with other people and to stretch and grow physically, emotionally and socially.
• Play creates an important opportunity to teach kids conflict resolution skills.
• We believe that rock-paper-scissors is a perfectly adequate problem-solving tool most of the time. [I LOVE this statement!]
  

And, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, free, unstructured play is essential for keeping children healthy, and for helping them reach important social, emotional, and cognitive developmental milestones. Unstructured play also helps kids manage stress and become resilient.

I believe this.

I believe that kids need more time to play without being in an organized sport or league or lessons. They need more time to play, to work off energy, to make up their own games and to created their own entertainment. In this entertainment culture kids don't have enough time to think, to dream, to be bored and to have to find their own remedy.

I admit, I can't believe that kids need to be taught to play, but then again, maybe I can. Kids today are so scheduled between school, day care, various lessons and clubs there is only so much time in a day and no time to play. But honestly, if we want no child left behind, children need time to play, to run, to shout, to create their own fun.

I visited the local elementary school a couple of years ago on a lovely winter day in Kentucky. The sun was shining and it just under 30 degrees outside. No kids were out playing. I asked one little girl about it, and she said they never went outside to play until the temperature was over 35 degrees!
Can you believe it?

They just read or played quietly or just didn't do any type of unstructured recess time. I can't imagine what torture that must be for the more active children. No wonder so many kids need to be medicated to make it through the school day. [In all fairness, at this school, each individual teacher supervises recess whenever they want to. So, this teacher didn't like cold weather, so the kids it that class did not go out. Other teachers, from more sturdy stock, did take their kids out for recess . I guess the days of teachers taking a little break while the kids go out and are overseen by monitors are long gone. Pity.]

My fondest memories of elementary school were the THREE recesses we took every day. Fifteen minutes each morning and each afternoon and 30 minutes after lunch. And, for the record, I grew up in Michigan where we played outside every day unless it was raining, regardless of the temperature. We had to wear dresses back in those days too, but we pulled on our play pants under our dresses for recess time, put on our boots, mittens, scarfs and whatever warm things our mom sent with us, and out we went. I can't believe how adults have robbed children of the joy of play, and much of it done in the name of safety or academic necessity or enrichment.

Play.
Less conflict.
Better attention span.
Children explore their imaginations.
And they wear off calories and energy to boot.

Sounds too good to be true. Cheap, old fashioned, fun and can be done anywhere.

Playing...Gotta love it! Recess anyone?

Does your child need preschool? [continued]

Does your child need preschool?

Yesterday I talked about Play is Work, and I truly believe that is all a preschooler needs, play. Many will want more-they will want to sound out words and write their name and count money; and they should. But, for preschoolers the timing of these things should be child led.

This is not just my opinion. I saw this article in the paper last year that said, “A new report from the American Academy of Pediatrics says free and unstructured play is healthy and –in fact—essential for helping children reach important social, emotional, and cognitive developmental milestones as well as helping them manage stress and become resilient.”

I also believe very strongly in reading to young children every day. There have been an incredible amount of studies saying that the single most important thing you can do to help your youngster is to read to them. Children love to be read to. They love to cuddle and snuggle while being read to and/or they love to play while you read to them. And kids learn so much from this experience.

Not only do they learn to appreciate well written words and ideas, they learn the importance of reading. Also, when we discuss what we read with our children it gives us an opportunity to pass on our core beliefs. We can discuss live and death issues while reading about dragon slayers and fairy princesses. Reading opens up a whole world to our children and enriches our relationship with them.

Now I know there are some children who do not have anyone to read to them, who do not have the advantages that other children have and they can certainly benefit from early preschool. But I am not talking about at-risk kids when I talk about play and reading being enough.

I have had many conversations that go like this:

Mom: “I have two children, four and two, and I am looking for a preschool program for my four year old.”

Me: “What are you looking for.”

Mom: “I don’t know. Really, I don’t want to send him to preschool, but all the other kids at church are going and my mother is asking where he is going to go. I feel pressure to send him, but I don’t really think I want to send him. Do you have any suggestions?”

Me: “What are you doing? “

Mom: “Oh we read every day. We take walks and collect rocks and leaves and sing songs. He helps me bake and can write his name and sound out a few letters. He can count pennies up to 10 and sets the table correctly. He plays well with his brother most of the time.”

Me: “It sounds like your son is very well adjusted.”

Mom: “Yes, but I think he needs socialization.”

Me: “Does he play well with other kids at church or at the park?”

Mom: “Oh yes. He loves to play and he pretend reads to his brother. He also wants to do everything my husband does—wears his shoes, wants to cut the grass, use the hammer and so on.

Me: “Does he mostly mind you?”

Mom: “Mostly [laugh], but he is very active.

Me: “It sounds like you are doing a great job. He sounds like his social skills are good, he is imitating his Daddy, loves to be read to and tries to be helpful and kind. I don’t think you need preschool. I would just do what you are doing.”

Mom: “Really.”

Me: “Really. What can he learn at preschool that he doesn’t already know or will learn when he is ready?”

Mom: “I don’t know. But everyone else…

Me: “That doesn’t make it mandatory. It doesn’t make it right.”

And then we finish up the conversation.

And this is why I am writing. If you want your child to experience preschool, by all means go ahead. But, if you don’t—feel confident that if you are modeling good life skills to your child, if you are reading to him, if he is using his imagination to play, you are doing a great job and laying a wonderful foundation for future learning. That is enough.

Take care,
Jill

[As a note, I helped to develop a great "read to your child" preschool program called Sonlight P3/4. It has books, tips for teaching, a parent guide, some games and some easy activities to do with your 3-4 year old. It involves lots of snuggling and reading-perfect for a gentle homeschool preschool!]

Play is Work...

Play is work.

For kids, I mean.

I get so frustrated with all the preschool programs that teach academic things that I could scream! {My sister-in-law as a pre-schooler-- she has been a legal assistant for over 30 years]
For kids, play is work! I think if adults would realize that, we would not try to rush and ruin the built in educational system that God has designed for little children. They are inquisitive, they ask questions, when they are ready to know something they try to do it, or ask about it, they learn quickly. And they play.

I love watching kids play. They are so creative. I mean, when I watched my boys play with match box cars they would drive them around, make engine noises, create road systems [small motor coordination], toss them up and let them drop [gravity training], see how many they could put in a bucket [spacial training], sort them in a million different ways and so forth. Look at all that math learned through play.

When Kari played with the same toys, she did a lot of the same things, minus the engine noises. She would drive the cars around and say things like, "OK, lets get out and buy some milk," or "Here we are at the library." Same cars, different play. She was much more verbal, much more directed- and her play was work too.

And the sandbox. I LOVE the sandbox-talk about play being work. Kids use small muscles, large muscles, engineering, city planning, molding, sculpting, getting along with sandbox mates and so forth. And if you add water to the sandbox, things just get better!

OK, I will admit it. I come from a long line of sandbox lovers. We always had a LARGE sandbox-not those little plastic turtle things they have now-a-days, but a huge sandbox that was so big that we had to have a dump-truck come and dump a load of sand at our house. I had one as a child and so did our kids. We thought of it as standard child rearing equipment. My mom loved the sandbox. As a grandma she would sit with the kids and play if she had a chance, and at the beach she was always playing with sand in some shape or form. My mom told me once about the sandbox she has as a kid and how she played in it till she was really too old for it.

I said, "How old were you mom?"

Mom, "Well, till I started dating your father." [And she wasn't kidding! She was 15 when she started dating Dad!]

See what I mean about having a history with sandbox play.

But, in addition to that-bikes and rope swings and balls and wagons and puzzles and blocks and dolls are all part of work for kids. They need play. They learn more from play than from some contrived activity at a pre-school.

Now I am not saying that preschools are all bad, nor am I saying that if a 3 year old wants to learn their letters you should withhold information; all I am saying is preschool is not necessary to have a well rounded child. They will not have their academic future ruined if they do not go to preschool or have preschool at home. Seriously!

I mean, my generation never went to preschool-we never heard of it. Yet, there are rocket scientists, brain surgeons, Nobel Peace Prize winners and so forth that are my age. How did we manage to actually learn to do anything without preschool? Playing. Good old fashion play.

For kids, play is work. I believe that with my whole heart.

Play. is. work.

More about preschool tomorrow...
Take care,
Jill



For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
  
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
  
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
  
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler