The Top Three Things You need to know if you have a Pre-Schooler...

Granddaughters with wooden  food.

Well, I know I am not really full-time homeschooling anymore, but I do have my two granddaughters that come over a couple of times a week. We play with toys, sing songs, read board books and generally just have fun hanging out together.

My boys as preschoolers, back in 1982**

I really love little kids. They are so funny in so many ways that I find myself laughing right out loud a lot when they are around. I also love watching how they play and find it amazing that their natural curiosity leads them to do the very things they should be doing to develop their fine and large motor skills.

I have been doing a lot of research lately about what kind of things you can do to help your child develop in this area. I have read state standards, researched various activities, become very familiar with the Montessori method and gleaned ideas from various websites.

And, after all this research I have come up with the top three things to help your child develop as they should. So, for those who are interested, here goes:

• Limit TV and computer games. They not only steal time, but they rob of children of imaginative play and of taking personal responsibility for entertaining themselves.
• Read, Read, Read to your children. Reading teaches them a lot about language, it excites their imagination and broadens their world. READ!



My youngest son loved hats!***

• Have classic toys available. These include [but are not limited to] balls, paper, crayons, scissors, blocks, toy cars, dolls and riding toys. With these simple toys a child can master many activities and have lots of imaginative play.

During my research I found an excellent resource for developing fine motor skills in preschool to first grade age children. I looked at many, many books and a lot of web sites, and talked to early child development teachers and this one book incorporates nearly every single idea that I found everywhere else.

It is called:

Activities for Fine Motor Skills Development, published by Teacher Created Resources. It has simple ideas, recipes, finger play games, black line masters to copy and much more. It is an amazing resource that I wish I would have had when I did my licensed home day care and when my children were young. It is well worth the price.

The best resource I found--very parent friendly!

So if you have preschoolers I encourage you to get this book, limit TV and computer games, read to your children and have classic toys available.

Pictures:

• **A reminder of my hardest year--three preschoolers and temperatures that winter that were below zero most of the time. That was a looooong winter!
• ***Scotty--he loved hats and I particularly love this picture because it seems to capture all the fun and seriousness that is bound up in a preschooler.

Take care,
Jill

For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
  
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler

Is reading THAT important?

You probably think I am going to say yes, but I'm not.

GASP!

Yes, it is important. Yes, it is the foundation for learning. Yes, it is a magnificent tool. BUT, I am increasingly discouraged and saddened when parents think it is the ONLY thing. They think that reading trumps physical activity, trumps chores, trumps interpersonal relationships; they think that it is the measure of successful homeschooling and parenting.

And, on some level I totally understand. I mean, it is easy to quantify so it makes us feel good about ourselves if our 7 year old is reading at a 5th grade level, and makes us feel bad about ourselves if our 10 year old is reading at a 2nd grade level. It is easy to measure-- so we measure our kids against the "norm." We can't easily quantify and measure helping or relational skills so that I can 't say that my 7 year old is interacting relationally at a 5th grade level or that my 10 year old is doing chores at a 2nd grade level. The most we can say is they "are mature or immature for their age."

But, honestly, I talk to parents all the time who think their four year old should be in first grade because they can read at that level. Or, I have had people tell me their two year old is reading and thus should be in a kindergarten [or higher] grade level.
I want to scream...

• Can they jump on one foot?
• Can they tie their shoes?
• Can they fold towels?
• Are they kind to others?
• Can they throw a ball?
• Can they use inside voices in the house?
• Do they whine?
• Do they mind you?

People are so much more than reading. Children are so much more than reading. I know kids who could read at 2 or 3 and their parents encouraged it a lot--to the exclusion of many good activities. After all, their child could read so they had it made. Years later I seen that many of these kids have very little interpersonal skills or are extremely lacking in coordination. Now they may have been that way even if they hadn't spent their toddlerhood reading, but I am not so sure.

I have also seen preschoolers who are physically active who are not encouraged to learn to read. They are not prohibited from learning letters and sounds if they want to, but even if they are, the parents encourage lots of outdoor play and they do a lot of working along side Mommy and Daddy. These children seem better adjusted when they get older.

Yes, they learn to read somewhere between K and 2nd grade, but they seem to be more active, more interactive with others, more helpful and imaginative. They are not caught reading a book when everyone else is eating ice cream and playing tag. I am not saying that is always bad, but is reading everything? Is it more important than relationships? And, they usually are at the same level in reading [according to numerous studies] by the time they are in 3rd grade as the early readers.

As for 3 year olds that can read at first grade level. They are still 3 years old. They still need lots of play and exercise to complement their reading time. They need fresh air and sunshine. They need to help parents with chores and to learn to share with other children and to mind.

There are LOTS of lessons they need to learn before they are ready for first grade curriculum.

I know that many of you might not agree, but even if you don't, if your child is an early reader, please remember what age they are and don't rush them into mature material just because they can read. Please help them develop in areas they don't excel at so they can become well-rounded individuals.

Reading is not everything.

Take care,
Jill

Another post you might be interested in. Three Things Preschoolers Need.

For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
  
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
  
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
  
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler

Baby Students...

I am feeling sad this morning after reading a post on the Sonlighter Club Forums from a mom with a 19 month old. She says that she started "Your Baby Can Read" with him when he was 3 months old and he had mastered the program by his first birthday. Now he has been working on letter names, shapes, colors and working on identifying the United States. She wants to know if he is ready for a kindergarten program.

What? I want to shake her and wonder what she is thinking? What is the purpose of this? Do we want him to be able to read War and Peace when he is six? Does she want him to go off to work with his little brief case when he is 12? Does she just like to have her son perform for Grandma and the neighbors?

When did we get to be a people who put so much emphasis on academics and so little on play and relationships and using imaginations? I heard a NPR story a couple of weeks ago about a country [Sweden?] which mandates full day school for children as young as 2! They interviewed some parents and they thought it was great that their children are getting professional teaching at that young age.

One mom cooed over her child who could spout off nursery rhymes by memory--as if that is a reason to send your 2 year old away for 35+ hours a week! The "professionals" and I use that term lightly, have convinced parents that they cannot possibly parent a child the right way. They need to pack Johnny off while still in diapers so he can be properly socialized and educated. You wonder how civilization managed to produce functioning citizens all these thousands of years when we didn't have preschool and 10 month olds who can read!

I know this lady is not alone. I have spoken to others like her--in fact I once spoke to a woman who was pregnant with her first child and was looking for curricula for that child because she knew this child was going to be very gifted. Not much pressure there. :) Honestly, I thought when most people are pregnant they were praying for a healthy baby and wondering what type of car seat to buy. It never occurred to me that they were planning academics and they were convinced their child would be gifted. That is a LOT of pressure.

I grieve for the children who lose their childhood to academics. I grieve for the pressure, the scheduled lives, the push, push, push to do better, learn more and the message that academics is IT. Where is the joy, the play, the snuggling on the couch, the imagining?

I love what the advice one mom gave to the mom of the 19 month old, "Also, keep in mind that academics aren't the end all of education. If you are not doing so already, you need to take things like fine motor skills (drawing, picking up tiny objects, using scissors) and following multi-step directions into consideration. Large motor skills (kicking, throwing, climbing stairs) are equally important, as are social skills such as speaking to adults, using polite words, and so on."


I wanted to stand up a cheer! YES! Academics aren't the end all of education or of child rearing! Imagine that. Before children can read they are very visual and notice everything. Did you ever notice how a child will say things like, "Oh, his car has the same hub caps as our car," and he is right? And you think, "Who looks at hubcaps?" Kids notice things. They can't read, so they pay way more attention to details and visual clues than we do. That is why when my nephew was 4 he could beat me in a concentration-type matching game 2 games out of every 3. He was more visual--I was more written word oriented. It is why I need words to figure out what burner to turn on my stove, not pictures. [And that is a whole 'nuther subject!]

I am not a language research scientist, but there has to be consequences with children learning to read before they have time to fully develop their visual observation skills. Surely God designed them to be so observant and to have such great visual skills to figure out their world for a reason. It has got to be a necessary foundation for higher level learning and if you short-circuit that in order to have bragging rights to the smartest child in town--what long range damage is being done?

While teaching children is admirable, I really think we should reconsider what to teach. How about sharing and getting along? How about compassion and loving your neighbor as yourself? How about doing acts of service within the family? How about developing the imagination by sandbox and outdoor play?

When did we get to the place that we think that children are like little pets that we should teach to do tricks so that we can amaze our friends? Maybe that is not what is going on here, but it grieves me to think that somewhere along the line we have failed new parents by letting them think that reading and academics is more important than relationships and imagination.

Take care,
Jill

You might want to read Play is Work or look at the side of my blog where the directory is, and click on play or playing, to read more along this line.

Photos are of my son Cris and granddaughter Elinor, and my daughter in law Jen with Elinor.

Keep your preschoolers home....

Remember my posts Play is Work and Does Your Child Need Preschool? Now I have a bit of scientific evidence to back me up.

I just read a fascinating article which pretty much proved what I have said for years, preschools are not better than staying home with mom or a loving nanny or grandparent.

• According to researchers at Stanford and the University of California.Drawing on a massive, national database of over 14,000 children from diverse backgrounds, researchers examined the effects of preschool attendance on interpersonal skills, self control, and rates of aggression.

The results were remarkably clear:

“We find that attendance in preschool centers, even for short periods of time each week, hinders the rate at which young children develop social skills and display the motivation to engage classroom tasks, as reported by their kindergarten teachers” (Loeb et al 2005)."

Ahh, social skills are hindered! What? I thought homeschoolers were the ones that have the poor social skills! I mean, isn't that the main argument against homeschooling?

And this:

• Similar results were reported by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHHD), which conducted a rigorous longitudinal study on the effects of childcare on children under 5 (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development 2003).

Over a thousand children were tracked from infancy to kindergarten by investigators at over 20 prominent research universities.

Researchers found that the more time kids spent in non-maternal care during the first 4.5 years of life, the more behavioral problems they developed.

Problems included defiance--like talking back, throwing temper tantrums, and refusing to cooperate. They also included aggressive behaviors--being cruel, destroying toys and other objects, and getting into physical fights.

Pretty interesting stuff--actual studies with lots of kids--and I have a lot anectodotal evidence to back this up--I think I will post some in the next couple of days. :)

I have posted about this very thing but this is the first really great evidence that actually proves what I know is true in my heart.

Children need to be home. They need to be in a small one-on-one relationship with a loving caregiver, like a parent,or grandparent or even a loving nanny. Did you ever notice how God gave us children one or two at a time--not litters? [At least before science got involved in the business of artificially induced pregnancy!] I have to think that God knew what he was doing when he put babies, mostly one at a time, into families. Perhaps that is where they thrive and develop best?

Keep your preschooler home. For kids, play is work. They don't need socialization with a bunch of age-mates, they need quality and quantity time with a loving caregiver who models what true socialization is.

Take Care,

Jill

For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
  
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
  
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
  
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler

Does your child need preschool? [continued]

Does your child need preschool?

Yesterday I talked about Play is Work, and I truly believe that is all a preschooler needs, play. Many will want more-they will want to sound out words and write their name and count money; and they should. But, for preschoolers the timing of these things should be child led.

This is not just my opinion. I saw this article in the paper last year that said, “A new report from the American Academy of Pediatrics says free and unstructured play is healthy and –in fact—essential for helping children reach important social, emotional, and cognitive developmental milestones as well as helping them manage stress and become resilient.”

I also believe very strongly in reading to young children every day. There have been an incredible amount of studies saying that the single most important thing you can do to help your youngster is to read to them. Children love to be read to. They love to cuddle and snuggle while being read to and/or they love to play while you read to them. And kids learn so much from this experience.

Not only do they learn to appreciate well written words and ideas, they learn the importance of reading. Also, when we discuss what we read with our children it gives us an opportunity to pass on our core beliefs. We can discuss live and death issues while reading about dragon slayers and fairy princesses. Reading opens up a whole world to our children and enriches our relationship with them.

Now I know there are some children who do not have anyone to read to them, who do not have the advantages that other children have and they can certainly benefit from early preschool. But I am not talking about at-risk kids when I talk about play and reading being enough.

I have had many conversations that go like this:

Mom: “I have two children, four and two, and I am looking for a preschool program for my four year old.”

Me: “What are you looking for.”

Mom: “I don’t know. Really, I don’t want to send him to preschool, but all the other kids at church are going and my mother is asking where he is going to go. I feel pressure to send him, but I don’t really think I want to send him. Do you have any suggestions?”

Me: “What are you doing? “

Mom: “Oh we read every day. We take walks and collect rocks and leaves and sing songs. He helps me bake and can write his name and sound out a few letters. He can count pennies up to 10 and sets the table correctly. He plays well with his brother most of the time.”

Me: “It sounds like your son is very well adjusted.”

Mom: “Yes, but I think he needs socialization.”

Me: “Does he play well with other kids at church or at the park?”

Mom: “Oh yes. He loves to play and he pretend reads to his brother. He also wants to do everything my husband does—wears his shoes, wants to cut the grass, use the hammer and so on.

Me: “Does he mostly mind you?”

Mom: “Mostly [laugh], but he is very active.

Me: “It sounds like you are doing a great job. He sounds like his social skills are good, he is imitating his Daddy, loves to be read to and tries to be helpful and kind. I don’t think you need preschool. I would just do what you are doing.”

Mom: “Really.”

Me: “Really. What can he learn at preschool that he doesn’t already know or will learn when he is ready?”

Mom: “I don’t know. But everyone else…

Me: “That doesn’t make it mandatory. It doesn’t make it right.”

And then we finish up the conversation.

And this is why I am writing. If you want your child to experience preschool, by all means go ahead. But, if you don’t—feel confident that if you are modeling good life skills to your child, if you are reading to him, if he is using his imagination to play, you are doing a great job and laying a wonderful foundation for future learning. That is enough.

Take care,
Jill

[As a note, I helped to develop a great "read to your child" preschool program called Sonlight P3/4. It has books, tips for teaching, a parent guide, some games and some easy activities to do with your 3-4 year old. It involves lots of snuggling and reading-perfect for a gentle homeschool preschool!]

Play is Work...

Play is work.

For kids, I mean.

I get so frustrated with all the preschool programs that teach academic things that I could scream! {My sister-in-law as a pre-schooler-- she has been a legal assistant for over 30 years]
For kids, play is work! I think if adults would realize that, we would not try to rush and ruin the built in educational system that God has designed for little children. They are inquisitive, they ask questions, when they are ready to know something they try to do it, or ask about it, they learn quickly. And they play.

I love watching kids play. They are so creative. I mean, when I watched my boys play with match box cars they would drive them around, make engine noises, create road systems [small motor coordination], toss them up and let them drop [gravity training], see how many they could put in a bucket [spacial training], sort them in a million different ways and so forth. Look at all that math learned through play.

When Kari played with the same toys, she did a lot of the same things, minus the engine noises. She would drive the cars around and say things like, "OK, lets get out and buy some milk," or "Here we are at the library." Same cars, different play. She was much more verbal, much more directed- and her play was work too.

And the sandbox. I LOVE the sandbox-talk about play being work. Kids use small muscles, large muscles, engineering, city planning, molding, sculpting, getting along with sandbox mates and so forth. And if you add water to the sandbox, things just get better!

OK, I will admit it. I come from a long line of sandbox lovers. We always had a LARGE sandbox-not those little plastic turtle things they have now-a-days, but a huge sandbox that was so big that we had to have a dump-truck come and dump a load of sand at our house. I had one as a child and so did our kids. We thought of it as standard child rearing equipment. My mom loved the sandbox. As a grandma she would sit with the kids and play if she had a chance, and at the beach she was always playing with sand in some shape or form. My mom told me once about the sandbox she has as a kid and how she played in it till she was really too old for it.

I said, "How old were you mom?"

Mom, "Well, till I started dating your father." [And she wasn't kidding! She was 15 when she started dating Dad!]

See what I mean about having a history with sandbox play.

But, in addition to that-bikes and rope swings and balls and wagons and puzzles and blocks and dolls are all part of work for kids. They need play. They learn more from play than from some contrived activity at a pre-school.

Now I am not saying that preschools are all bad, nor am I saying that if a 3 year old wants to learn their letters you should withhold information; all I am saying is preschool is not necessary to have a well rounded child. They will not have their academic future ruined if they do not go to preschool or have preschool at home. Seriously!

I mean, my generation never went to preschool-we never heard of it. Yet, there are rocket scientists, brain surgeons, Nobel Peace Prize winners and so forth that are my age. How did we manage to actually learn to do anything without preschool? Playing. Good old fashion play.

For kids, play is work. I believe that with my whole heart.

Play. is. work.

More about preschool tomorrow...
Take care,
Jill



For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
  
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
  
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
  
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler