Tools not Toys, again...

Two years ago I posted this post about some wisdom from my dad, "Give kids tools not toys" never imagining that two years later I would have two granddaughters of my own who are now getting old enough to play. Elinor is nearly 11 months and Allison is 8 months.

They love rattles and stacking cups, but I was looking for something more. Something that could help them develop their fine motor coordination and mathematical reasoning. I am really happy with Wee WEDgits.
These things are fun for babies, chewable and interesting for adults too. I like that Wee WEDGiTS are made from non-toxic, phthalate free poly-vinyl material so I don't have to worry about the girls slobbering and chewing on them, and also that they fit with regular WEDGiTS so they can be used for a long time. 


Bob and I were amazed last week when we were stacking the WEDgits into a pyramid and Elinor put the last piece in. They are neat because they don't fall over easy and you can stack them so many ways. This is the kind of tool the helps to develop mathematical reasoning, sorting abilities, color recognition and fine motor coordination, all through play. 


This is a great tool for kids of all ages. My sister just bought some of the regular WEDgits for her 3 1/2 year old granddaughter and they have both been having a lot of fun with them. 

Another tool that I love is the Teddy Bear Mix and Match Game.  This game has the cutest heavy cardboard bears ever. There are pairs mountain climbing bears, alpine bears, ice cream cone eating bears, baby bears and more. This game can be played by non-readers and is like a concentration game. All bears are put face down and players take turn turning over two bears to try to get a match. If your bears match you take them, if not you turn them over and the next player gets a turn. I am sorry to say that when I used to play it with my nephew Issac [when he was 4 and then 5 years old] he won more games than I did. 


The bears can also be used as templates to trace around  and then the child can color them the way they want to. I always thought I would trace around to make a template to make cookie bears and maybe I will when Allison and Elinor get older. Then they can decorate them any way they want.  This is a great tool to develop memory and observation techniques--also a good way to talk about jobs people have or what different clothes mean. These bears are just so cute, you can't help but want to play with them.

Another game which is wonderful for pre-arithmetic skills, spacial reasoning and more is Mighty Mind. This is good for kids at least 3-4 and up.  


There are 32 plastic tiles and carefully sequenced cards which take children from just finding the correct tile and placing it on the card, to having a complicated outline that them must fill in with the tiles. Fun for all ages. 


Mighty Minds says it this way:

• Faster than a speeding puzzler. Able to leap into challenging puzzles in a single bound. That kid has a Mighty Mind!
• MightyMind develops creativity & helps children understand visual/spatial relationships.
• A great confidence builder in a fun, purposeful format.
• 32 colorful, easy to handle, durable plastic design tiles with 30 tangram-like design cards.
• Smarter kids. Great Fun. Mighty Minds.

This is a great tool for kids to use alone, or one that you can use together. It can encourage team work among siblings. My kids had a wooden set when they were young and it was a lot of fun, and educational too.

These are just a few of the tools that I think are awesome for preschool-elementary age children. The WEDgits are my vote for the best baby toy in a long time because they are soft, chewy, stackable, colorful and fun for kids, parents and grandparents.

Take care,
Jill

Blocks...

I wanted to say a quick word about blocks. I think blocks are one of the best--if not THE BEST--childhood tools available. And I have to say, that I think Dr. Drew's blocks are among the best.

You can see Scotty many years ago with one of his Dr. Drew block creations. He used to make structures like this all the time when he was little. You can see this one is a sky-scraper type with little men in each cubical and a farm fence around the base with various animals corralled.

This takes a lot of imagination, small motor coordination, planning and time! It develops so many parts of a child's growth and is really a pretty cheap tool.

Disclaimer-I am not affiliated with Dr. Drew in any way. Now, let's look at the actual cost of this phenomenal tool. 72 blocks in a nice cloth storage bag--and these are high quality, nicely finished beechwood [hardwood] for around $60. This is a nice starter set and that is what Scotty has in the picture. We ended up adding planks for around $30. So, for about $100 we had a set of tools that can be used for years and years, by many, many children spanning more than one generation.

When I bought them they were cheaper, but even at $100. Let's say you have 3 children. That is $33 each, and figure they will play with them [conservatively] for 3 years each, that is $11 per year. If they play with them one day out of three, that is about 3 cents per day. And after all that playing, they will be just as good for your grandchildren!

What? Grandchildren?

Our blocks have been played with my our children [turning into catapults and domino runs in later years], our nieces and nephews, little friends that visit and now [still good as new, even the drawstring bag is in good shape] we have two grandchildren expected this year. In a couple of years this second generation will get hours and hours of creative play time.

So, whether you choose Dr. Drew blocks, or Melissa and Doug, or some other type of wooden block, know that you are providing tools that will give you a high return for the $$. I think this is a childhood tool that is worth the investment.

Take care,
Jill

How do I limit the toys we have?

In response to my post "Tools or Toys" Lori asked this quesion:

This is fantastic advice. I'd like to move more in this direction with my kids, but I wonder if you have any advice for how to handle/decrease the junk toys that the extended family tends to lavish upon us?

I think the first thing to do is to talk to your husband about the idea of tools vs toys to be sure you are on the same page and he is behind your decision to move in that direction. Also, if you kids are old enough talk to them about reducing toys and blessing those less fortunate.

Next, find a good charity that can use toys. Perhaps Good Will or a children's charity. Even though you have too many toys, if they were divided up they would probably bless many families.

Now have your children help you pick their favorite toys. Maybe you can give them each a box and everything they love has to fit inside the box. Or maybe you can just ask them to choose 6 things to bless a less fortunate child with and put those in a box. Either way, you can start to reduce the amount of things they have. If they have a TON of stuffed animals you could tell them to get them all gathered around them and you want to take a picture. After the picture, tell them they need to put 1/2 of them [or all but 3] in a big garbage bag and you will store them. Then in 6 months if they miss them, they can switch them out for the ones they didn't store.

When my kids were little we used to do the rotating toys thing, where I would put 1/2 the toys away and rotate toys every month or two. If some toys were not missed, they made a trip to the Good Will store.

So, no matter how you do it, reduce what you have.

Now comes the hard part. Limiting what come in. I guess there is no easy answer but I have a few suggestions.
Print off a copy of my article and give to each person, and say this really resonated with you and your family and you would love to move in this direction, and ask them to help you.

• Keep a running list of tools and clothes your kids could use and give copies to grandparents and others in your life that give gifts to your children. If you have a nice varied list, and keep it current, they will have a better idea of appropriate gifts.
• Other gift ideas would be to have grandparents help with cost of being on a team. If you child regularly is on a little league team or is in cub scouts, perhaps grandparents could buy the uniform or pay the registration. And let you kids know who paid for it. Take a picture of them in their uniform and have them write a paragraph about the activity and send the photo, the paragraph and a thank you note to Grandma and Grandpa.
• Perhaps suggest you would like tickets to a museum or aquarium, some family event. I know when my kids were younger we lived in Florida and we had grandparents pitch in to buy us seasonal tickets to Disney World. We had unlimited access to Disney for 4 months a year and since we lived close, we really got our money's worth. Every time we went I would remind the kids how both Grandmas and Grandpas paid for our passes.
• If you have a big ticket item you would love, perhaps a play house or kid sized picnic table, a swing set or bike or bunk beds, ask the people who gift you to go in on it with you, This way you could get some good quality tools for your family.
• If worse comes to worse, and you can't get extended family on board, have your child play with the thing, take a picture, then quietly donate it.
  
• If you have enough nerve, you could take the item back, even asking for the receipt, and put the money towards camping equipment or something else that the kids would love, something that won't break in a month.
• I think if you ask grandparents to think about how to get your children outside more that will give them good ideas for tools. Some great tools are a pogo stick [yes they are still made], a good long jump rope [nylon-you can buy heavy duty and cool-looking rope at Tractor Supply or a hardware store], gardening items, bubbles, a basket ball hoop and ball, sports equipment, bikes, sandbox, a big dump truck full of sand, orange cones to be used for goals, making obstacle courses, etc.. Anything to get kids moving and playing--building muscles and also interpersonal skills that come from interacting with others in a positive way.
• Another idea, my mom used to take Kari shopping once a year for her birthday, starting when she was about 7 or 8. They would go to the mall [which I rarely did], have lunch out and then buy Kari an outfit and maybe something at the Disney Store. When Kari and I were shopping a couple of weeks ago for her 23rd birthday we happened upon the Disney Store. She started to reminisce about the great times she and Grandma had and about the Beauty and the Beast tea set Grandma bought for her. What great memories she has! And, you know, my mom and dad always sent a limit--they did not fling money around. So when they went shopping, Mom had a budget and she let Kari pick out something, but it had to be within the set limit. Those trips were so precious.
• Another idea for grandparents or aunts and uncles. My dad used to send Scotty $5 every year to buy a present for our dog. I mean, that was a big deal. Scotty would ride his bike up to the IGA store and really take his time picking out the best dog treats for Lucky. It was like a present for Scotty. It taught him to shop carefully and really made a bond between he and his grandpa.
• You might want to suggest the idea of a money bag to your parents. My dad had a cloth bag that he would keep change in . In fact, he would sometimes have to buy change at the bank. I have a funny story about that I will have to post another day. At any rate, a couple of times a year the kids could put their hands in the money bag and get as much change as they could! He would do this with nieces and nephews too! What memories were made through such a simple act. He would also, at family reunions, put money in a sand box or in the sand if there was a small beach. Starting with the youngest kids, they could search for the coins. Even in the evening, you could see the parents of the kids sifting though the sand absently as they chatted with each other.
• I guess in summary, Tools are better than Toys, and memories trump them both.
  

I don't know if this his helpful or not, but I suspect most grandparents, aunts and uncles would love to get on board with this idea. They want what is best for your kids and they want to be part of it. If you can lead them in this direction I think they will feel more fulfilled in their gift-giving and everyone will benefit.

Thanks for the question, Lori,
Take Care,
Jill

[Photos: Top to Bottom--On a day trip with Grandma and Grandpa--they paid; Kari in new boots purchased by Grandparents; At Disney World with tickets bought from Grandparents]

For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
  
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
  
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
  
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler

Tools or Toys...

~Dad in his workshop making himself a new workbench~

My dad had a lot of great advice. I mentioned before his idea about "Grant Writing," in relation to kids and allowances, but another thing I learned from him was the art of giving gifts to kids. I remember it clearly--at that time I had 3 little boys and Dad and I were standing in his workshop. He was making something and I was holding some tools for him and I commented that he and Mom always gave such great gifts to the kids. At that time I was in a ladies Bible Study and that same week some of the moms were discussing how their kids got so much "toy junk" as gifts and they were lamenting it and wondering how they could curb the toys, limit the junk.

Dad said, "You have to give kids tools, not toys."

That was the advice. He didn't really elaborate--which if you knew my dad, you would be smiling because he generally elaborated on everything. Tools not Toys--actually, he didn't have time to elaborate because someone [with three boys six and under--it happened a lot] started crying in the house with Mom and I left Dad in his workshop to see what the trouble was. Then I was off to other things and the conversation never really got finished. But, when I was driving home that afternoon those words came back, "Tools not Toys."

It goes back to the thought that we are raising kids to be well adjusted, functioning adults that will one day hold jobs, have families and be responsible citizens. We just have our kids for a little while and during that time we are to prepare them to take their place in society. So they need to learn a lot along the way. They need to be molded and shaped and directed along the way--they need the tools, we need the tools, to get them there.

My Dad, way back when, was a history and shop teacher. And one thing he instilled in us from a young age is, "You have to have the right tool for the job." He would sometimes shake his head when he looked at my husband's tools in our early married life. Many times he would give us the correct tool for the job, or let us use his. I mean, you can not fix plumbing without a pipe wrench, or work with electricity without a volt tester.

The same is true with kids. What kids need are tools not toys. If folks could just get a handle on that, much of the junk found in the typical kid's section of most stores could be reduced by half or maybe even 90%. But, what is a tool? [Happy days in the sandbox]

Tools, in no particular order: Balls, blocks, dolls, flashlights, sand box, wagon, bike, swings, picnic table, paper and markers/crayons, legos, scissors, games, backpack, fishing pole, compass, knife [older child], mess kit, camping supplies, books, actual tools like a screwdriver and hammer, woodburning set, knitting or crochet or any kind of handwork, magnifying glass, leather craft, jump-rope, kid sized baking or cooking set, puzzles, kitchen set [play food and so on], a cash register and play money, paddle ball, a big empty box, capes and costumes, gardening items like a pail, shovel and so on...really most traditional toys. I consider Match Box type cars and most action figures tools too.

Toys, in no particular order: Anything that has batteries or makes noise that drives a mom crazy [anyone remember the Tooneyville Choo-Choo?], if it is meant for the child to watch it rather than interact with it, video games, computer games--even educational games can be toys if you are not careful, anything that is cheap plastic and will break easily, stuffed things that talk and entertain--really anything [Scotty, age three, he loved his Dr. Drew blocks] that is meant as an entertainment. I am sure if you and I went together to a big box store, we could find tons of toys that would fall in this category.

Now, I am not saying "NO TOYS EVER!" What I am saying is: Tools should be a child's main diet and toys should be like a dessert. Dessert is nice, but you only have occassionally, not at every meal.

Tools will encourage imagination, develop large and small muscles, and should get the child outside daily. Tools will stand the test of time, can usually be passed down from child to child in a family, and have a lot of play value.

So, the next time you need to give a gift to a child,remember my dad's words, "Tools not Toys." Thanks for advice Dad.

Take Care,
Jill


For some suggestions on how to do this, you might want to read my next post--how do I limit the toys I have?

For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

• Results of a Scientific study-Why you should keep your pre-schooler home
• Play is work-Is Preschool Necessary?
• Tools or Toys? A lesson from my Dad
  
• How to tame your toys--Some practical advice
  
• Ideas to Keep Preschoolers happily occupied
• The Top Three Things You Need to Know if You Have a Pre-schooler