Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Lies, Lies, Lies...

I recently purchased the book by Todd Wilson called, "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe." Now, if you are not familiar with Todd Wilson, he calls himself the "Family Man." I have never heard him speak, although he attends many homeschool conventions that I attend as a vendor. He has these little stickers he gives out that say something like, "My wife is my hero, she homeschools," and he passes them out to homeschooling dads.

For that reason, and that reason alone, I thought I liked him. But actually, I don't know him at all. I have seen him at conventions and know that he speaks, but what impressed me is the little stickers extoling the virtues of a homeschooling mom.

I had heard this book was very encouraging and so I bought it because my library didn't have it and only had one avenue for getting it through inter-library loan. They called me after some time and said they had located this now out-of-print book but the lending library charged nearly $15 to borrow it, did I still want it?

I don't think so.

I got it from Amazon for about $10 including shipping. I thought it would give me some ideas for my blog and give me some new insights. What it did was make me mad.

I found some of the ideas great, but I felt they were said in a very condescending matter. And--this really ticks me off--he comes across as some expert who knows how EVERYONE feels. How is that possible? How can he know something about every homeschooling mother?

He spends a great deal of time saying that Satan is behind all the insecurities and failings we have. I really have trouble believing that Satan is behind it all. I mean. what about our own human frailty? Maybe he meant that comes from Satan too, and I am not one to deny Satan, but not one to see him behind every failing or insecurity I have either.

He says  EVERYONE [homeschooling moms] Believes these false lies:
  • Everyone's house is cleaner than my house
  • Everyone fixes better meals than I do 
  • Everyone is more spiritually disciplined
  • Everyone's marriage is better than mine 
  • Everyone else can do it ALL but me
and that " All homeschooling moms say harsh, sometimes hateful words to their kids and husband...

He says "the real truth is that all marriages stink from time to time. They argue, see things differently, say cutting comments or give the silent treatment sometimes. ...That's ALL [his emphasis, not mine] marriages."

  I hate to sound braggy, but that is not my marriage. We don't give the silent treatment or make cutting comments. Not to say we aren't grouchy from time to time, but cutting comments, I don't think so. I don't believe I have ever said hateful words to my children or husband. I am not trying to sound holier than thou, but I really don't think he knows what in the world he is talking about.

He encourages homeschool moms to be "REAL" and then goes on to say that if you have something you are good at, "baking bread, making nice clothes for your kids, etc." keep it to yourself. You don't want others to feel bad about themselves. OK, so my question is, "How is that real?"

But, this is what made me rant and rave to Bob for a while."Women are prone to believing lies...We are all prone to believing lies, especially women...So, as we discuss the lies homeschooling moms believe, realize that this is an area in which females are more susceptible." UGH!!

Is this condescending or what? To me it sounds like he is saying, "Homeschool mom I am all wise and wonderful and poor little you are gullible, so I am going to tell you what to believe and to show you that you are better than you think you are."

I mean how sexist is that? And how patriarchal he sounds. I am still furious about that statement. There are other statements about how men are less gullible than women and so forth.  Who is this guy and what decade did he fall out of? I know he is younger than I am and yet my Dad wouldn't have bought this sentiment.

The book goes on and on about how we are all as good as each other, how we are all too hard on ourselves and so on. And, in all fairness, he does say that " After finishing this book, I don't want you to try harder, but I do want you to enjoy your kids more. I won't ask you to be more diligent, but I hope that you'll laugh easier. I'm not trying to make you better, but I desire you to feel secure in your shortcomings."  OK, that's nice.

He also makes nice statements like "God gave your children exactly the mother they needed," and "You are the best. You're number one. Numero uno! Primo teacherero! Plan A."

Of course you are gullible, prone to believing lies, shouldn't tell anyone about things you are good at...

I did find some gems in this book, but all in all it seemed like a poor attempt to boost up what are thought to be rather lame-brained women. I will be finding a new home for this book. I might take it to Half Price Books, but on the other hand maybe a quick trip to the fire pit might be more productive. I would hate for any homeschooling mom to believe all the lies in this book.

Take care,

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