When Your Oven is on Fire...

Let me start by saying, this is a tribute to my son Cris--the calm, even tempered one of the family. Kids are funny aren't they? They each come pre-programmed with certain traits that you can work around and bend a bit, but they are there. There is not a lot you can do with the pre-programming.

I am not going to debate, nurture vs. nature, but I think there is a lot to be said for both. I love Proverb 22:6 that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Although more literal translation is a bit different, " Give instruction to a youth about his way, Even when he is old he turneth not from it. from it." [Young's Literal Translation]

I think this means that you need to raise child according to his bent, or his nature. If you have a sensitive child, or an artistic child, or a defiant child, or a happy-go-lucky type, or a visual learner, or an auditory one, etc., then you should adjust your parenting so that you can speak to that child's bent or nature.

Cris and daughter Elinor.

And this is where Cris comes in. He is the oldest of our five children and extremely calm and requires very little sleep. As a baby he slept about 20 minutes at a time during the day and at night woke up many times until he was over two. He stayed up late, got up early and could outlast Bob and I both. He is still, at 32, exactly this same way. He can survive for weeks on end on 5 hours or so of sleep a day--I need 8-9.

At any rate, Cris called me up over a year ago and said very calmly, "Mom? What do you do when your oven is on fire?"

Me: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR OVEN IS ON FIRE? YOUR OVEN IS ON FIRE???

Cris :Not now, but when you have a fire in your oven what do you do?

Me: I have never had a fire in my oven.

Cris [surprised and calm]: Really? Well, yesterday I was doing wings and I had a fire in my oven. Flames were shooting out and so I had Scotty hold the door while I shot it with a fire extinguisher. I think my oven might be ruined. How do I clean it?

Me: I have no idea. Maybe try some hot water and baking soda? [For those of you who don't know me, I think that hot water and baking soda, or hot water and vinegar can pretty much clean anything.]

We chatted a bit more and hung up. It took Cris hours to clean his oven and yes, it did work. No harm done. But, those words stayed with me, "What do you do when your oven is on fire?"

What do you do?
Scream
Cry
Toss baking soda on it
Shoot it with a fire extinguisher while you little brother holds the door
Call 911?

What do you do? What would your kids do?

And this is where I get back to learning styles and bents. Only Cris would non-nonchalantly call for a helper from the living room telling them he has a kitchen fire and then calmly put it out with a fire extinguisher [I might mention that one of his sisters in law promptly jumped up and dashed out the front door! She's no fool!]. That is his bent, his nature. To take things calmly, analyze the problem and quickly administer the solution. Then face the clean up later.

What about your kids? Does each have a different bent? Do the learn differently? Perhaps if you struggle with raising or teaching your child[ren] you need to discover their learning style. It is fascinating to see how just understanding a bit about how your child is wired can help you relate to them better.

I suggest "The Way They Learn," by Cynthia Tobias or listening to some of the Sonlight Podcasts. You can find podcasts about learning styles her:

• Part 1: Creating an Educational Plan
• Part 2: Finding Your Child's Learning Style
• Part 3: Organizing Your Home and Homeschool

Take care,
Jill

How can I teach two children together who are not the same age or grade?

I get asked this question a lot. It usually sounds something like this "How can my children who are 2-3 years apart in age actually both learn from the same books?" Usually the older student is brighter, more studious, etc. and they don't want to hold back the older, yet they don't want to teach two totally different levels of each subject to their children.

It comes down to skill-based vs topic-based learning.

 Still based are things like math and learning to read. You have to learn the sound of the letters before you can blend them into words. You have to be able to blend easy words before you can read multi-syllable words, you have to know how to multiply before you can divide. You have to understand arithmetic before you can do Algebra.

Skill based subjects have to be built on, precept upon precept on a regular basis to gain mastery. It takes time and you can't teach a child who cannot subtract  with one who divides with ease at the same time with the same materials. They need to develop certain skills before they can go on to the next level.

But, then there are topic based subjects. I can be 8 or 10 or 15, but if I have never learned about whales I can learn from and enjoy a book about whales or a documentary about whales. A 15 year old might understand more about the anatomy and ecosystems of the whale when the book is done, but the 8 year old will have learned a lot too--and they can discuss it and reinforce what they learned through discussion.

A parent can read Charlotte's Web to the whole family and while the youngest member will be enchanted with  Wilbur and Charlotte,  and an older child will see it is a story about friendship, an even older member will appreciate how love hurts and what true self-sacrifice is. Everyone will take away something different, but all will be enriched.  

This is why you can teach varying ages together with Sonlight [or any literature based curriculum] together for topic based subjects like history, science, geography, Bible and cultural literacy. It is also why you will want to teach them separately for math and adapt their writing assignments to their abilities. You will not be holding back the older by teaching them together for topic based studies. The older child can dig deeper and tell the younger child(ren) what they have discovered. They can go deeper in the subject by themselves if they want to, but even if they don't they will have learned something they didn't know and will benefit from it.

And, when siblings learn together it strengthens family culture and bonds. It gives them a commonality, inside expressions, jokes and sayings and is just plain fun. If you have children up to 3 years or so apart, try teaching them at least one subject together and see how it goes. I think you will love it!

Take care,

Jill

Library in a Box...

I live in a small town. The last census said around 6,000 and that included all the students in the local college and seminary. So, when school is not in session, the town is considerably smaller. 

In fact, we have only two towns in our whole county-so I guess you could say I kind of live in Podunk. We have a county library in the other town but up until about a year or so ago, it was a pain to go to the library and ever since my kids learned to drive, I just didn't bother. 

But now? Now it is different. Now we have the "Library in a Box" and it is fabulous. Basically what I do is go online, reserve any books I want and when they are available the library van comes over to our town, and puts my book in one of the doors on this locker system. Then they call me and tell me my book is in.

I go up to the last drive through lane of our local bank and there is our "Library in a Box system." You can see that there are two boxes for returns and then this big "locker." I type my PIN into the key pad and a door opens. I grab my books and go. That is all there is to it.

There are three of these "boxes" around the county so now even the most rural patrons can have this convenient service. I think at its inception it was one of only a couple of these types of systems in the whole US. 

I want to thank our library for investing in this program and I want to encourage you, if you live in a rural area, to show your library this great set up. Maybe other libraries will see the value and bring "Library in a Box" to your area.

Take care,

Jill

Baby Students...

I am feeling sad this morning after reading a post on the Sonlighter Club Forums from a mom with a 19 month old. She says that she started "Your Baby Can Read" with him when he was 3 months old and he had mastered the program by his first birthday. Now he has been working on letter names, shapes, colors and working on identifying the United States. She wants to know if he is ready for a kindergarten program.

What? I want to shake her and wonder what she is thinking? What is the purpose of this? Do we want him to be able to read War and Peace when he is six? Does she want him to go off to work with his little brief case when he is 12? Does she just like to have her son perform for Grandma and the neighbors?

When did we get to be a people who put so much emphasis on academics and so little on play and relationships and using imaginations? I heard a NPR story a couple of weeks ago about a country [Sweden?] which mandates full day school for children as young as 2! They interviewed some parents and they thought it was great that their children are getting professional teaching at that young age.

One mom cooed over her child who could spout off nursery rhymes by memory--as if that is a reason to send your 2 year old away for 35+ hours a week! The "professionals" and I use that term lightly, have convinced parents that they cannot possibly parent a child the right way. They need to pack Johnny off while still in diapers so he can be properly socialized and educated. You wonder how civilization managed to produce functioning citizens all these thousands of years when we didn't have preschool and 10 month olds who can read!

I know this lady is not alone. I have spoken to others like her--in fact I once spoke to a woman who was pregnant with her first child and was looking for curricula for that child because she knew this child was going to be very gifted. Not much pressure there. :) Honestly, I thought when most people are pregnant they were praying for a healthy baby and wondering what type of car seat to buy. It never occurred to me that they were planning academics and they were convinced their child would be gifted. That is a LOT of pressure.

I grieve for the children who lose their childhood to academics. I grieve for the pressure, the scheduled lives, the push, push, push to do better, learn more and the message that academics is IT. Where is the joy, the play, the snuggling on the couch, the imagining?

I love what the advice one mom gave to the mom of the 19 month old, "Also, keep in mind that academics aren't the end all of education. If you are not doing so already, you need to take things like fine motor skills (drawing, picking up tiny objects, using scissors) and following multi-step directions into consideration. Large motor skills (kicking, throwing, climbing stairs) are equally important, as are social skills such as speaking to adults, using polite words, and so on."


I wanted to stand up a cheer! YES! Academics aren't the end all of education or of child rearing! Imagine that. Before children can read they are very visual and notice everything. Did you ever notice how a child will say things like, "Oh, his car has the same hub caps as our car," and he is right? And you think, "Who looks at hubcaps?" Kids notice things. They can't read, so they pay way more attention to details and visual clues than we do. That is why when my nephew was 4 he could beat me in a concentration-type matching game 2 games out of every 3. He was more visual--I was more written word oriented. It is why I need words to figure out what burner to turn on my stove, not pictures. [And that is a whole 'nuther subject!]

I am not a language research scientist, but there has to be consequences with children learning to read before they have time to fully develop their visual observation skills. Surely God designed them to be so observant and to have such great visual skills to figure out their world for a reason. It has got to be a necessary foundation for higher level learning and if you short-circuit that in order to have bragging rights to the smartest child in town--what long range damage is being done?

While teaching children is admirable, I really think we should reconsider what to teach. How about sharing and getting along? How about compassion and loving your neighbor as yourself? How about doing acts of service within the family? How about developing the imagination by sandbox and outdoor play?

When did we get to the place that we think that children are like little pets that we should teach to do tricks so that we can amaze our friends? Maybe that is not what is going on here, but it grieves me to think that somewhere along the line we have failed new parents by letting them think that reading and academics is more important than relationships and imagination.

Take care,
Jill

You might want to read Play is Work or look at the side of my blog where the directory is, and click on play or playing, to read more along this line.

Photos are of my son Cris and granddaughter Elinor, and my daughter in law Jen with Elinor.

Welcome Allison Ann Evely...

Molly, 39 weeks pregnant

This is what Allison looked like last week--all wrapped up in her momma. Molly always has a big smile but I think she was getting pretty anxious. At the Friday appointment the doctor said that the baby had turned into a breech position, so a C-section was scheduled for Monday at noon.

Allison had other ideas. She decided to come on Saturday, so an emergency C-section brought Allison into the world.

Aunt Kari and Allison

For some reason I only have two photos, and they both show Kari holding Allison. I will go visit today and take some more. But you get the idea. She is perfect in every way, 8# 6oz at birth, 18.5 inches long and a bit of dark hair.

Molly and Chad are thrilled and cannot wait to get Allison home to her waiting nursery.

Life is very, very good. My first two grandchildren born within 3 months of each other. Who would have thought?

Take care,
Jill

Ahh, I just got a few more photos:Grandma Evely [Me!] and Allison



The two grandpas and the proud dad!










Uncle Scott-------------------- Uncle Dusty and Aunt Sharon

Killing Mockingbirds is a sin...

Without even knowing that Sunday is the 50th anniversary of the publication of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee I re-read this favorite book last week. I think it is my 4th time through it, but I am not quite sure. I read it the first time when I was homeschooling Scotty--he was in 8th or 9th grade. It is one of those rare books that has universal appeal, compelling with a great message.

This book has quite a few layers, speaking to topics of racism, small town justice and injustice, abuse, incest, fear, tolerance, fatherhood, growing up and the importance of family. Oprah W. says, "It's our national novel," and Laura Bush says, "It changed how people think."

I love Scout with her sharp mind and tomboy attitude. She is so real--if not precocious--and I love the scene where her teacher is all flustered because she starts school knowing how to read. How hilarious is that? The teacher tells her not to read anymore until she is taught the proper way! She can read at a high school level but the teacher wants her to go back to learning the sounds that the letters make. She was homeschooled by her father before it was fashionable and she learned to read by being read to. Imagine that.

If you haven't read this classic, and I hadn't until I read it to Scotty, pick up a copy. You will be spirited away to another time and place and become enchanted with this master story teller who makes us take a good look at society and at ourselves. I have vowed to finally watch the movie this summer--after all the years of reading the book, I think it is about time to see the 1962 film starring Gregory Peck.

Take care,
Jill

Eating on Vacation with kids...

I have memories of traveling to Alaska, south Mexico, California and many more places [by car] with my family when I was a child. Now, granted, there were not the fast food choices that there are today, but in all our travels I think I can count on one hand the lunches we ate at a restaurant.

Mom always made sandwiches.

She kept the sandwich ingredients in an old blue steel case. I suppose it was an old draftsman case, but I am not sure. She kept bread, peanut butter, mustard, ketchup and lunch meat in there. What? Lunch meat?

Yes, that was back in the days where you weren't allowed to get food poisoning. Everyone at tuna sandwiches that had been in steel lunchboxes for hours and no one thought anything of it. We did not have frozen packs or insulated lunch kits--I guess we were made a stronger stuff back then.

I think she took the meat out of the fridge in the Airstream trailer we pulled in the morning and put it in the blue lunch case for later. I think she did this so that they wouldn't have to open the fridge when we were on the road because that would let out all the cold and since it wasn't plugged in while we drove, we didn't want that to happen.

At any rate, I hate bologna to this day because of being forced to eat a bologna sandwich with ketchup [I am not too crazy about ketchup either] for lunch on one of our trips. Maybe I was whiny, I don't know, but I wanted a PB&J instead, but I had to eat the bologna because Mom already made it for me and I shouldn't be so fussy. As a parent I understand that, but I never liked bologna and could eat PB&J every day for my whole life, so why did she make it for me?

When Bob and I traveled with young kids I vowed NEVER to have salmonella-in-a-box and to eat either peanut butter and crackers, cheese sticks [from a cooler], granola bars and that type of thing--or just stop at fast food. But, that can get expensive. So we found a solution that might help any of you who travel with children.

I would get a LOT of dollar bills and then when we stopped at a fast food place I would give each child $2.00 or if I had 5 dollar bills, I would give one to every two children. Then, they had to order for themselves and spend wisely. Since they always had some vacation money saved up they could spend over that amount if they wanted to supplement with their money, or if they ate cheap they could pocket the excess. The rule being, you must get full and eat something healthy--and no complaining about being hungry later.

It worked great. Basically everyone got water to drink, ordered off the cheap menu, shared fries and so on. Some splurged and got a shake occasionally, some pocketed spare change after every meal. It kept our costs down to a manageable amount and taught smart shopping and thriftiness as well. Plus, I didn't have to remember 7 different orders and then have to pray that the teen workers got it all right.

So, if you travel, you may want to use the suitcase method, or the $2.00 method [maybe up it to $3.00 now], or maybe stop at a rest stop and do some cooking [we have done that too]--but at least you have some options.

And, if I ever come to your house, please don't make me a bologna sandwich. UGH!

Take care,
Jill

Sonlight now has NO FEE Time Payments

Paying for homeschooling curriculum can be daunting at times. So in order to serve you better, Sonlight has a new payment plan which will allow you to pay for your Sonlight materials over 3 or 6 months at no extra charge.

This is great news for many homeschoolers.

• You pay no fee for the Time Payments Option. Sonlight now charges no fee and no interest on new Time Payment plans. You can spread the flat cost of your purchase over several months.
• Your payment options include^*:
  • A 3-month plan with 25% down and 3 monthly payments. This option is available year-round.
  • A 6-month plan with 25% down and 3 payments every two months. This option will be available for orders placed in April, May and June.
  You can go here for more information.
  

CHEO... my last 2010 convention

Christian Homeschooling Educators of Ohio will have their annual homeschool conference in Akron this year. After 25 years of being in Columbus, the event planners made a change of venue and moved to Akron.

My team and I will be in the Sonlight booth ready, willing and eager to help. I will be presenting a workshop at 10:30 Friday morning, "Raising Kids who love to learn with guidance, great books and good times."

I will also have coupons for $15 off an order of $50 or more, good through the end of August. With featured speaker Voddie Baucham and The Family Guy-Todd Wilson, and with tons of vendors, it promises to be a great convention.

Experience an awesome convention!
- A New Facility
- Lots of Encouragement
- Keynote Speakers: Voddie Baucham & Todd Wilson
Family Discipleship: Brian & Betsy Ray
Featured Speaker: Dianne Craft

I have quite a bit to do before we leave next Thursday. I can't believe the 2010 convention season is almost over.

Take care,
Jill

Transcripts, again...

Transcripts are not scary. Say it again, "Transcripts are not scary."

I have to tell you that it grieves me how much money is charged and how much scary hype there is related to creating a transcript. There are boot-camp sessions, endless numbers of books and speakers who all conspire to scare the pants off of you when it comes to transcripts.

The basic message is that your children will be jobless, friendless and homeless if you don't subscribe to their method [and it always costs money] of doing transcripts.

It isn't true.

A transcript is simply a resume of your child's high school accomplishments. It should include classes taken, grades given and some other basic information. It does not need to be in any particular format. It does not need to be done by a professional service. It does not take a genius. Simply put, it is a resume.

Now I am not saying that you don't have to keep decent records and have a high school plan so that your student has a well rounded education. What I am saying is that the transcript is just a recording of those classes your child has done. If you can keep records, you can make a wonderful transcript. Don't wait till the senior year to start trying to remember what courses your child did as a freshman--that will make you a wreck.

The secret to a good transcript, is to keep records as you go along. Assign grades as you go along and make course descriptions as you go along. It is not hard, it just takes keeping on top of writing down the records.

I once knew a lady whose son did not go to college. He went right to work and at the age of 28 decided to go into the military. They needed a high school transcript. She had never made one up, and he had graduated from their homeschool 10 years earlier. Now that is a reason to panic! She was scrambling to find records, try to remember what he had done and so forth. It was not fun! So, even if you child is not going to college or the military, please--create a transcript so that if they do need it down the road you will have an accurate resume of what they accomplished while they were in your homeschool.


I also recommend the book, Homeschoolers' College Admissions Handbook, by Cafi Cohen. It has a lot of good information that can help with transcripts and a lot more. If you would like a sample of what I created for my children's transcripts, email me jevely@sonlight.com.

I have other high school blog posts as well and you can find them here.

• Transitioning to College from Literature Based Learning
• Using Dictation with High School Students
• High School Transcripts and Course Descriptons-- Not as scary as you think...
• High School Credits for Sonlight Cores
• Grading High School Work-Contract for Grade

Take care,
Jill