Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I have my very own on-line homeschool and parenting library--if anyone is interested...

You can find it here: I copied some of it for those who may be interested.

Paths to Learning: ~ Jill's Homeschool & Parenting Library~


Please Scroll Down to see my
Homeschool and Parenting Encouragement Library
~~~May it be an encouragement to you~~~


I invite you to:


Welcome to my personal Homeschool & Parenting Library
[ A collection of wit & wisdom gleaned from over 132 years of parenting]

General Homeschool Advice:

Preschool Tips and Advice:


Sonlight Specific:


High School Helps

  • NEW! High School Planning: Here are some great brochures and charts you can print off [Developing a Plan, Recordkeeping, College Bound, Off to Work, Time Line-Keeping on Track and You can Homeschool Through High School.]
[Sonlight has the best microscope and awesome science programs. In college I majored in earth science and environmental science. I love good science--but until I found Sonlight Science my kids did NOT share my love of science. Sonlight's great books, science supply kits and day by day lesson plans helped me share my love of science with my children. From pre-school up, Sonlight Homeschool Science Packages are the best!]

[Kari Homeschool Graduate-Chad University of Kentucky Graduate]

General Parenting:

For more encouragement and help, visit my blog:
Photos, top to bottom:
  1. My son Scotty at three--homeschooled from birth through graduation
  2. My two youngest children working with Dad to build a playhouse.
  3. Scotty--As a pre-schooler full of imagination and fun
Jill Evely
It is my passion to encourage homeschool families so that you can find joy in being a family that learns together.

I have been married to the husband of my youth for 35 years and have homeschooled my five children for 17 years-most of the time with Sonlight Curriculum. Our youngest son graduated from our homeschool in 2007. I love the outdoors, baking, reading and, of course, chocolate-but mostly I love getting all my kids together in one place. Ahh, heaven on earth! I am currently enjoying my two new granddaughters.

Take care,
Jill




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The Three most important things to teach your children...

Besides transferring your core beliefs--such as your faith, and things like honesty and kindness--which are paramount, what are the three main academic things you should teach your children?

This is my very own list done with absolutely no scientific studies or animal testing. No children or pets were hurt while I found the answer to this all important question.

  • Read
  • Think
  • Communicate
That's it! If you can teach your child to read and think and communicate, they have it made. Once the key to reading unlocks the secret to knowledge, you have accomplished step #. Then, they need to be able to think--really think--about what they have read, what they have heard, what they have experienced and to analyze and compare to find out what the truth or reality is. This is not easy.

Children do not learn to think by answering the questions [or assessments if you want to use the fancier terminology] at the end of the chapter. They don't learn to think by someone telling them what to think. They learn to think by thinking, by comparing, by reading and applying what they have learned. They learn to think by answering questions about how what they read or heard can be applied to real life, or how it compares with what they know, or how it compares with something else they have read. They learn to think by talking to you. That is step #2.

And that is where step #3 comes in. In order to succeed children need to learn how to communicate what they think. They need to be able to look someone in the eye and have a conversation. They need to be taught to have good written communication skills. They need to be able to express themselves to others in a concise and clear manner, both verbally and in in writing.

If they can do these three things they will do well in higher education, in a job and in interpersonal relationships. In order to succeed in this culture; reading, thinking and communicating are the most important skills you can teach your child.

I believe reading to your children from a young age, discussing with them what you have read to them, and then asking them to tell back or narrate what the story was about or why it was important is a great way to begin to teach the THREE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS. As your child grows you can continue discussing what they are reading and include them in discussions of politics, or religion or other things to sharpen their minds--to help them critically think about things and not to just accept and repeat what someone else has concluded.

  • Read
  • Think
  • Communicate

That's it.

Take care,
Jill
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Friday, August 13, 2010

Is reading THAT important?

You probably think I am going to say yes, but I'm not.

GASP!

Yes, it is important. Yes, it is the foundation for learning. Yes, it is a magnificent tool. BUT, I am increasingly discouraged and saddened when parents think it is the ONLY thing. They think that reading trumps physical activity, trumps chores, trumps interpersonal relationships; they think that it is the measure of successful homeschooling and parenting.

And, on some level I totally understand. I mean, it is easy to quantify so it makes us feel good about ourselves if our 7 year old is reading at a 5th grade level, and makes us feel bad about ourselves if our 10 year old is reading at a 2nd grade level. It is easy to measure-- so we measure our kids against the "norm." We can't easily quantify and measure helping or relational skills so that I can 't say that my 7 year old is interacting relationally at a 5th grade level or that my 10 year old is doing chores at a 2nd grade level. The most we can say is they "are mature or immature for their age."

But, honestly, I talk to parents all the time who think their four year old should be in first grade because they can read at that level. Or, I have had people tell me their two year old is reading and thus should be in a kindergarten [or higher] grade level.
I want to scream...

  • Can they jump on one foot?
  • Can they tie their shoes?
  • Can they fold towels?
  • Are they kind to others?
  • Can they throw a ball?
  • Can they use inside voices in the house?
  • Do they whine?
  • Do they mind you?
People are so much more than reading. Children are so much more than reading. I know kids who could read at 2 or 3 and their parents encouraged it a lot--to the exclusion of many good activities. After all, their child could read so they had it made. Years later I seen that many of these kids have very little interpersonal skills or are extremely lacking in coordination. Now they may have been that way even if they hadn't spent their toddlerhood reading, but I am not so sure.

I have also seen preschoolers who are physically active who are not encouraged to learn to read. They are not prohibited from learning letters and sounds if they want to, but even if they are, the parents encourage lots of outdoor play and they do a lot of working along side Mommy and Daddy. These children seem better adjusted when they get older.

Yes, they learn to read somewhere between K and 2nd grade, but they seem to be more active, more interactive with others, more helpful and imaginative. They are not caught reading a book when everyone else is eating ice cream and playing tag. I am not saying that is always bad, but is reading everything? Is it more important than relationships? And, they usually are at the same level in reading [according to numerous studies] by the time they are in 3rd grade as the early readers.

As for 3 year olds that can read at first grade level. They are still 3 years old. They still need lots of play and exercise to complement their reading time. They need fresh air and sunshine. They need to help parents with chores and to learn to share with other children and to mind.

There are LOTS of lessons they need to learn before they are ready for first grade curriculum.

I know that many of you might not agree, but even if you don't, if your child is an early reader, please remember what age they are and don't rush them into mature material just because they can read. Please help them develop in areas they don't excel at so they can become well-rounded individuals.

Reading is not everything.

Take care,
Jill

Another post you might be interested in. Three Things Preschoolers Need.

For more of my Pre-School thoughts and suggestions:

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

When Your Oven is on Fire...

Let me start by saying, this is a tribute to my son Cris--the calm, even tempered one of the family. Kids are funny aren't they? They each come pre-programmed with certain traits that you can work around and bend a bit, but they are there. There is not a lot you can do with the pre-programming.

I am not going to debate, nurture vs. nature, but I think there is a lot to be said for both. I love Proverb 22:6 that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Although more literal translation is a bit different, " Give instruction to a youth about his way, Even when he is old he turneth not from it. from it." [Young's Literal Translation]

I think this means that you need to raise child according to his bent, or his nature. If you have a sensitive child, or an artistic child, or a defiant child, or a happy-go-lucky type, or a visual learner, or an auditory one, etc., then you should adjust your parenting so that you can speak to that child's bent or nature.

Cris and daughter Elinor.
And this is where Cris comes in. He is the oldest of our five children and extremely calm and requires very little sleep. As a baby he slept about 20 minutes at a time during the day and at night woke up many times until he was over two. He stayed up late, got up early and could outlast Bob and I both. He is still, at 32, exactly this same way. He can survive for weeks on end on 5 hours or so of sleep a day--I need 8-9.

At any rate, Cris called me up over a year ago and said very calmly, "Mom? What do you do when your oven is on fire?"

Me: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR OVEN IS ON FIRE? YOUR OVEN IS ON FIRE???

Cris :Not now, but when you have a fire in your oven what do you do?

Me: I have never had a fire in my oven.

Cris [surprised and calm]: Really? Well, yesterday I was doing wings and I had a fire in my oven. Flames were shooting out and so I had Scotty hold the door while I shot it with a fire extinguisher. I think my oven might be ruined. How do I clean it?

Me: I have no idea. Maybe try some hot water and baking soda? [For those of you who don't know me, I think that hot water and baking soda, or hot water and vinegar can pretty much clean anything.]

We chatted a bit more and hung up. It took Cris hours to clean his oven and yes, it did work. No harm done. But, those words stayed with me, "What do you do when your oven is on fire?"

What do you do?
Scream
Cry
Toss baking soda on it
Shoot it with a fire extinguisher while you little brother holds the door
Call 911?

What do you do? What would your kids do?

And this is where I get back to learning styles and bents. Only Cris would non-nonchalantly call for a helper from the living room telling them he has a kitchen fire and then calmly put it out with a fire extinguisher [I might mention that one of his sisters in law promptly jumped up and dashed out the front door! She's no fool!]. That is his bent, his nature. To take things calmly, analyze the problem and quickly administer the solution. Then face the clean up later.

What about your kids? Does each have a different bent? Do the learn differently? Perhaps if you struggle with raising or teaching your child[ren] you need to discover their learning style. It is fascinating to see how just understanding a bit about how your child is wired can help you relate to them better.

I suggest "The Way They Learn," by Cynthia Tobias or listening to some of the Sonlight Podcasts. You can find podcasts about learning styles her: Take care,
Jill
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Thursday, August 5, 2010

How can I teach two children together who are not the same age or grade?

I get asked this question a lot. It usually sounds something like this "How can my children who are 2-3 years apart in age actually both learn from the same books?" Usually the older student is brighter, more studious, etc. and they don't want to hold back the older, yet they don't want to teach two totally different levels of each subject to their children.

It comes down to skill-based vs topic-based learning.

 Still based are things like math and learning to read. You have to learn the sound of the letters before you can blend them into words. You have to be able to blend easy words before you can read multi-syllable words, you have to know how to multiply before you can divide. You have to understand arithmetic before you can do Algebra.

Skill based subjects have to be built on, precept upon precept on a regular basis to gain mastery. It takes time and you can't teach a child who cannot subtract  with one who divides with ease at the same time with the same materials. They need to develop certain skills before they can go on to the next level.

But, then there are topic based subjects. I can be 8 or 10 or 15, but if I have never learned about whales I can learn from and enjoy a book about whales or a documentary about whales. A 15 year old might understand more about the anatomy and ecosystems of the whale when the book is done, but the 8 year old will have learned a lot too--and they can discuss it and reinforce what they learned through discussion.


A parent can read Charlotte's Web to the whole family and while the youngest member will be enchanted with  Wilbur and Charlotte,  and an older child will see it is a story about friendship, an even older member will appreciate how love hurts and what true self-sacrifice is. Everyone will take away something different, but all will be enriched.  

This is why you can teach varying ages together with Sonlight [or any literature based curriculum] together for topic based subjects like history, science, geography, Bible and cultural literacy. It is also why you will want to teach them separately for math and adapt their writing assignments to their abilities. You will not be holding back the older by teaching them together for topic based studies. The older child can dig deeper and tell the younger child(ren) what they have discovered. They can go deeper in the subject by themselves if they want to, but even if they don't they will have learned something they didn't know and will benefit from it.

And, when siblings learn together it strengthens family culture and bonds. It gives them a commonality, inside expressions, jokes and sayings and is just plain fun. If you have children up to 3 years or so apart, try teaching them at least one subject together and see how it goes. I think you will love it!

Take care,

Jill
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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Library in a Box...

I live in a small town. The last census said around 6,000 and that included all the students in the local college and seminary. So, when school is not in session, the town is considerably smaller. 
In fact, we have only two towns in our whole county-so I guess you could say I kind of live in Podunk. We have a county library in the other town but up until about a year or so ago, it was a pain to go to the library and ever since my kids learned to drive, I just didn't bother. 


But now? Now it is different. Now we have the "Library in a Box" and it is fabulous. Basically what I do is go online, reserve any books I want and when they are available the library van comes over to our town, and puts my book in one of the doors on this locker system. Then they call me and tell me my book is in.

I go up to the last drive through lane of our local bank and there is our "Library in a Box system." You can see that there are two boxes for returns and then this big "locker." I type my PIN into the key pad and a door opens. I grab my books and go. That is all there is to it.

There are three of these "boxes" around the county so now even the most rural patrons can have this convenient service. I think at its inception it was one of only a couple of these types of systems in the whole US. 
I want to thank our library for investing in this program and I want to encourage you, if you live in a rural area, to show your library this great set up. Maybe other libraries will see the value and bring "Library in a Box" to your area.

Take care,
Jill




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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Baby Students...

I am feeling sad this morning after reading a post on the Sonlighter Club Forums from a mom with a 19 month old. She says that she started "Your Baby Can Read" with him when he was 3 months old and he had mastered the program by his first birthday. Now he has been working on letter names, shapes, colors and working on identifying the United States. She wants to know if he is ready for a kindergarten program.

What? I want to shake her and wonder what she is thinking? What is the purpose of this? Do we want him to be able to read War and Peace when he is six? Does she want him to go off to work with his little brief case when he is 12? Does she just like to have her son perform for Grandma and the neighbors?

When did we get to be a people who put so much emphasis on academics and so little on play and relationships and using imaginations? I heard a NPR story a couple of weeks ago about a country [Sweden?] which mandates full day school for children as young as 2! They interviewed some parents and they thought it was great that their children are getting professional teaching at that young age.

One mom cooed over her child who could spout off nursery rhymes by memory--as if that is a reason to send your 2 year old away for 35+ hours a week! The "professionals" and I use that term lightly, have convinced parents that they cannot possibly parent a child the right way. They need to pack Johnny off while still in diapers so he can be properly socialized and educated. You wonder how civilization managed to produce functioning citizens all these thousands of years when we didn't have preschool and 10 month olds who can read!

I know this lady is not alone. I have spoken to others like her--in fact I once spoke to a woman who was pregnant with her first child and was looking for curricula for that child because she knew this child was going to be very gifted. Not much pressure there. :) Honestly, I thought when most people are pregnant they were praying for a healthy baby and wondering what type of car seat to buy. It never occurred to me that they were planning academics and they were convinced their child would be gifted. That is a LOT of pressure.

I grieve for the children who lose their childhood to academics. I grieve for the pressure, the scheduled lives, the push, push, push to do better, learn more and the message that academics is IT. Where is the joy, the play, the snuggling on the couch, the imagining?

I love what the advice one mom gave to the mom of the 19 month old, "Also, keep in mind that academics aren't the end all of education. If you are not doing so already, you need to take things like fine motor skills (drawing, picking up tiny objects, using scissors) and following multi-step directions into consideration. Large motor skills (kicking, throwing, climbing stairs) are equally important, as are social skills such as speaking to adults, using polite words, and so on."


I wanted to stand up a cheer! YES! Academics aren't the end all of education or of child rearing! Imagine that. Before children can read they are very visual and notice everything. Did you ever notice how a child will say things like, "Oh, his car has the same hub caps as our car," and he is right? And you think, "Who looks at hubcaps?" Kids notice things. They can't read, so they pay way more attention to details and visual clues than we do. That is why when my nephew was 4 he could beat me in a concentration-type matching game 2 games out of every 3. He was more visual--I was more written word oriented. It is why I need words to figure out what burner to turn on my stove, not pictures. [And that is a whole 'nuther subject!]

I am not a language research scientist, but there has to be consequences with children learning to read before they have time to fully develop their visual observation skills. Surely God designed them to be so observant and to have such great visual skills to figure out their world for a reason. It has got to be a necessary foundation for higher level learning and if you short-circuit that in order to have bragging rights to the smartest child in town--what long range damage is being done?

While teaching children is admirable, I really think we should reconsider what to teach. How about sharing and getting along? How about compassion and loving your neighbor as yourself? How about doing acts of service within the family? How about developing the imagination by sandbox and outdoor play?

When did we get to the place that we think that children are like little pets that we should teach to do tricks so that we can amaze our friends? Maybe that is not what is going on here, but it grieves me to think that somewhere along the line we have failed new parents by letting them think that reading and academics is more important than relationships and imagination.

Take care,
Jill

You might want to read Play is Work or look at the side of my blog where the directory is, and click on play or playing, to read more along this line.

Photos are of my son Cris and granddaughter Elinor, and my daughter in law Jen with Elinor.
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Monday, July 12, 2010

Welcome Allison Ann Evely...

Molly, 39 weeks pregnant
This is what Allison looked like last week--all wrapped up in her momma. Molly always has a big smile but I think she was getting pretty anxious. At the Friday appointment the doctor said that the baby had turned into a breech position, so a C-section was scheduled for Monday at noon.

Allison had other ideas. She decided to come on Saturday, so an emergency C-section brought Allison into the world.






Aunt Kari and Allison
For some reason I only have two photos, and they both show Kari holding Allison. I will go visit today and take some more. But you get the idea. She is perfect in every way, 8# 6oz at birth, 18.5 inches long and a bit of dark hair.

Molly and Chad are thrilled and cannot wait to get Allison home to her waiting nursery.

Life is very, very good. My first two grandchildren born within 3 months of each other. Who would have thought?

Take care,
Jill

Ahh, I just got a few more photos:Grandma Evely [Me!] and Allison



The two grandpas and the proud dad!










Uncle Scott-------------------- Uncle Dusty and Aunt Sharon

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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Killing Mockingbirds is a sin...

Without even knowing that Sunday is the 50th anniversary of the publication of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee I re-read this favorite book last week. I think it is my 4th time through it, but I am not quite sure. I read it the first time when I was homeschooling Scotty--he was in 8th or 9th grade. It is one of those rare books that has universal appeal, compelling with a great message.

This book has quite a few layers, speaking to topics of racism, small town justice and injustice, abuse, incest, fear, tolerance, fatherhood, growing up and the importance of family. Oprah W. says, "It's our national novel," and Laura Bush says, "It changed how people think."

I love Scout with her sharp mind and tomboy attitude. She is so real--if not precocious--and I love the scene where her teacher is all flustered because she starts school knowing how to read. How hilarious is that? The teacher tells her not to read anymore until she is taught the proper way! She can read at a high school level but the teacher wants her to go back to learning the sounds that the letters make. She was homeschooled by her father before it was fashionable and she learned to read by being read to. Imagine that.

If you haven't read this classic, and I hadn't until I read it to Scotty, pick up a copy. You will be spirited away to another time and place and become enchanted with this master story teller who makes us take a good look at society and at ourselves. I have vowed to finally watch the movie this summer--after all the years of reading the book, I think it is about time to see the 1962 film starring Gregory Peck.

Take care,
Jill
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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Eating on Vacation with kids...

I have memories of traveling to Alaska, south Mexico, California and many more places [by car] with my family when I was a child. Now, granted, there were not the fast food choices that there are today, but in all our travels I think I can count on one hand the lunches we ate at a restaurant.

Mom always made sandwiches.

She kept the sandwich ingredients in an old blue steel case. I suppose it was an old draftsman case, but I am not sure. She kept bread, peanut butter, mustard, ketchup and lunch meat in there. What? Lunch meat?

Yes, that was back in the days where you weren't allowed to get food poisoning. Everyone at tuna sandwiches that had been in steel lunchboxes for hours and no one thought anything of it. We did not have frozen packs or insulated lunch kits--I guess we were made a stronger stuff back then.

I think she took the meat out of the fridge in the Airstream trailer we pulled in the morning and put it in the blue lunch case for later. I think she did this so that they wouldn't have to open the fridge when we were on the road because that would let out all the cold and since it wasn't plugged in while we drove, we didn't want that to happen.

At any rate, I hate bologna to this day because of being forced to eat a bologna sandwich with ketchup [I am not too crazy about ketchup either] for lunch on one of our trips. Maybe I was whiny, I don't know, but I wanted a PB&J instead, but I had to eat the bologna because Mom already made it for me and I shouldn't be so fussy. As a parent I understand that, but I never liked bologna and could eat PB&J every day for my whole life, so why did she make it for me?

When Bob and I traveled with young kids I vowed NEVER to have salmonella-in-a-box and to eat either peanut butter and crackers, cheese sticks [from a cooler], granola bars and that type of thing--or just stop at fast food. But, that can get expensive. So we found a solution that might help any of you who travel with children.

I would get a LOT of dollar bills and then when we stopped at a fast food place I would give each child $2.00 or if I had 5 dollar bills, I would give one to every two children. Then, they had to order for themselves and spend wisely. Since they always had some vacation money saved up they could spend over that amount if they wanted to supplement with their money, or if they ate cheap they could pocket the excess. The rule being, you must get full and eat something healthy--and no complaining about being hungry later.

It worked great. Basically everyone got water to drink, ordered off the cheap menu, shared fries and so on. Some splurged and got a shake occasionally, some pocketed spare change after every meal. It kept our costs down to a manageable amount and taught smart shopping and thriftiness as well. Plus, I didn't have to remember 7 different orders and then have to pray that the teen workers got it all right.

So, if you travel, you may want to use the suitcase method, or the $2.00 method [maybe up it to $3.00 now], or maybe stop at a rest stop and do some cooking [we have done that too]--but at least you have some options.

And, if I ever come to your house, please don't make me a bologna sandwich. UGH!

Take care,
Jill
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